Nimisha Gandhi: It's this very macho culture like you can sleep when you're dead and if you're out having fun, that means you're not focused on your company, so that means you're not a serious entrepreneur. You know? All of these negative mentalities that come with owning a business. I don't think that's so true anymore because women are kind of getting better in the industry and there's more prominence for women in the industry now but like back then, yeah. I didn't know too many women I could connect with, and talk about these issues and it just wasn't serving me.
Voiceover: You're listening to the MILF podcast. This is the show where we talk about motherhood and sexuality with amazing women with fascinating stories to share on the joys of being a MILF. Now, here's your host, the MILFiest MILF I know, Jennifer Tracy.
Jennifer Tracy: You guys welcome back to the show. This is MILF podcast. The show where we talk about motherhood, entrepreneurship, sexuality and everything in between. I'm your host, Jennifer Tracy. Today on the show we have Nimisha Gandhi. Nimisha is a nutritionist. Her company is called Moon Cycle Nutrition. What's so interesting about that is, that she was really ... and we kind of got into this a little bit. She really knows a lot about the women's menstrual cycle, moon cycle and she talked a lot about that and about how that affects certain things and nutritionally and she's trained in Ayurvedic medicine. We just had a really fun conversation. So I really hope you'll enjoy my conversation with Nimisha. Thanks so much for listening, guys.
Jennifer Tracy: Hi, Nimisha.
Nimisha Gandhi: Hello.
Jennifer Tracy: So just before we hit record, we were talking about Nimisha's, am I saying it properly?
Nimisha Gandhi: Perfectly.
Jennifer Tracy: We were talking about her name and how people probably butcher it. I was asking to make sure the pronunciation and you were about to say when I was a little kid and then you stopped yourself.
Nimisha Gandhi: Yeah.
Jennifer Tracy: What were you going to say.
Nimisha Gandhi: Yeah, when I was a little kid, even the teachers couldn't get it right. They would say like [Namisha 00:02:10] or I don't know, some weird pronunciation and I would just go along with it. I'm like “Yeah, that's my name.” My name is spelt N-I-M-I-S-H-A and people kept saying [Namisha 00:02:24] and so I just started spelling it N-A-M-I-S-H-A. It's like I would take on these different identities with my name as a seven, eight year old, 10 year old, and then I got over it and I was like “No, my name is Nimisha,” and I started owning that but for a long time I would, yeah, not own my name.
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah. That's interesting.
Nimisha Gandhi: Yeah.
Jennifer Tracy: Well, and we do that. I think too like I know my kid's nine and a half and I'm seeing a lot of that. Like he wants to be like the other kids and I remember that feeling for a long time. Like "I want to be like the other kids. I don't want to be me,” and then at some point hopefully, in a healthy way, we start to go “No, no, no, wait. I want to be individual. I want to be different.”
Nimisha Gandhi: Right.
Jennifer Tracy: But sometimes that takes longer. So you came to me through Alicia which is so exciting.
Nimisha Gandhi: Yeah.
Jennifer Tracy: You're also in Northern California.
Nimisha Gandhi: Yes, I live in San Francisco.
Jennifer Tracy: Okay, right. Tell me about where you're from. Like let's start from the beginning. Where were you born?
Nimisha Gandhi: Yeah. I was born in the Bay area, not too far from where I live in a suburb called Hayward, which is close to Oakland. I know most people recognize Oakland. Yeah, so I was born and raised there. Then I moved away to go to college to UCLA. That was the first time I ever left my home, but then I eventually moved back to the Bay area.
Jennifer Tracy: Nice. What did you study at UCLA?
Nimisha Gandhi: Psychobiology, pre-med psychobiology.
Jennifer Tracy: Oh wow.
Nimisha Gandhi: With a minor in Spanish.
Jennifer Tracy: Wow.
Nimisha Gandhi: Yeah.
Jennifer Tracy: So, you were going to be a doctor?
Nimisha Gandhi: Yes, because that's the only thing I knew to be. My dad came to America in the '70s from India, and they weren't very wealthy in India and they were basically escaping poverty to come here. They worked really hard and my whole life I've been told that like, “You're going to be the one to graduate from college and you're going to become a doctor,” and it was like this whole honor thing, and I thought that's what I really wanted until I got to medical ... I mean I started studying pre-med and I still thought I was going to become a doctor. I just had an awakening and realized that I wanted to do something alternative in the health care field.
Jennifer Tracy: Can you tell me about the awakening? What happened? Was it an event that happened?
Nimisha Gandhi: Yeah, lots of things. So, it was the first time I went away from home. I grew up in a very tight knit Indian family, first generation American and so, it was always balancing this world of trying to be American and Indian. My cousins lived right across the street. I grew up with my grandparents and my parents and my brother in one house. So, when I got to college, it was just like a whole different world. It was the first time where I was eating American food every single day, and not Indian food and I got sick actually.
Nimisha Gandhi: I got IBS which is actually very common for college aged students. Then I was trying to navigate like “Whoa what's going on with my health? Why am I gaining weight?” I did gain the freshman 15 but it just felt so icky. Like I didn't feel good in my body because it wasn't good weight.Then I started exploring alternative health care. Just being in LA, and I think everyone's talking about different diets, and modeling. I tried out the whole modeling thing too, while in college and like, when you're in UCLA and away from your parents, just try everything.
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah.
Nimisha Gandhi: So anyways I got sick and I couldn't ... The doctors wanted to put me on anti depressants and I was like “Wait, that doesn't make sense. I'm having gut issues.” I couldn't understand that.
Jennifer Tracy: What was the reasoning ... Did they explain to you why?
Nimisha Gandhi: Yeah and it's actually still commonly prescribed for people with IBS. It's because you produce a lot of Serotonin in your gut. So, they thought if they gave you anti depressants it would up level the Serotonin in your gut and you wouldn't experience symptoms of IBS. That was the reasoning, but I enrolled in this study at UCLA that was looking at meditation IBS and I was like “Wow, that's cool. I know about meditation. I think it comes from India.” I had this whole like ancestral thing going and so I was like “Okay, I'll try it out.”
Nimisha Gandhi: It was a really cool study. I've always been in tune with my body, like just knowing when something is off. So, I just started looking at different healthcare modalities to deal with my health issues. Towards the end of college, my grandparents got really ill, and they kind of got lost in the hospital system. You know?
Jennifer Tracy: Hmm.
Nimisha Gandhi: Just couldn't get a proper diagnoses and a series of events that made me really unhappy with our medical care system. Like the 15 minute appointments, not looking at the whole history. My mom was mugged when I was 16 years old which left her left arm severely damaged to the point where now she can't turn it, and she's in a lot of pain. So I saw that too, and I saw the pain my mom was going through and just all these things and it was like “Oh, I can't feed into the system.” You know?
Jennifer Tracy: Hmm.
Nimisha Gandhi: As soon as I said like “I'm not going to medical school, I'll find something else.” I found Ayurvedic medicine and there was a school in West Hollywood, so I was able to finish up my bachelor's and go to that school on the weekends.
Jennifer Tracy: Wow. That's impressive. That's no small feat. How long was that program?
Nimisha Gandhi: It was 18 months.
Jennifer Tracy: Wow.
Nimisha Gandhi: Yeah, yeah. It changed my life. Yeah.
Jennifer Tracy: So can you talk a little bit about Ayurvedic medicine. I know very little bit, and, for my listeners also, can you tell me what kind of the basis is?
Nimisha Gandhi: Yeah, yeah. Ayurvedic medicine is actually 5,000 years old. Even Chinese medicine stems from Ayurvedic medicine. That's based on the principles of each person, and each living thing has characteristics. There are three characteristic types of vata, pitta, and kapha, and everyone has different ratios of these characteristics. So some people can be vata dominant, some people can be pitta dominant, and some people can be kapha. Everyone has a different ratio. It's very rare to find a tri doshic meaning someone who's equally each dosha.
Nimisha Gandhi: But a vata person is the one who's usually very tall or very petite and has curly hair and has qualities of like air. Like you think of them as like a bird. Like their spirit animal would be a bird. They're like the artsy and creative types. They're your actors and painters and dancers, like super creative people. They're even the healers, because healing is very creative.
Nimisha Gandhi: Pittas are very dominant and they're fiery. Their spirit animal would be a lion. They are decisive and they usually follow a path like of a CEO or a politician or a lawyer, just a very strong role. Their qualities are like more fire heat. They tend to get overheated. Kaphas, their spirit animal I would say is an elephant. They're very gentle and loving. They're of a bigger bone structure. They tend to be nurses and caregivers and caretakers.
Jennifer Tracy: Wow. I'm thinking of all the people I know. I'm fitting everyone into a category, including myself.
Nimisha Gandhi: Yeah, and so then now you use these personality types and traits and not just personality but the inner physiology too to heal and bring balance into your body. In Ayurveda, like someone who has anxiety would tend to be a vata person. Then you look out in nature, so like increases like. So you look out in nature what would have ... Like which foods have vata quality. Those are the foods that a vata person would tend to avoid.
Jennifer Tracy: Avoid. I see.
Nimisha Gandhi: So like salads are airy, they're very light and they're dry so that would increase a vata, right?
Jennifer Tracy: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Nimisha Gandhi: So, what's balancing for a vata is like root vegetables. It's bringing them back to the ground and so it's a really beautiful science. To become an Ayurvedic doctor, you go to school for 10 years and then you do all this training. So it's really intense and beautiful and it's a great way to heal because it's so personalized.
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah. It sounds so personalized, and so gentle, and nurturing and ... So wait a minute though. I want to go back to West Hollywood and graduating UCLA. So you graduate UCLA with this basically, dual degree with a minor in Spanish, right?
Nimisha Gandhi: Yeah.
Jennifer Tracy: Incredible, incredible. And you finish this 18 month Ayurveda program. Am I saying it, right?
Nimisha Gandhi: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Jennifer Tracy: Ayurveda.
Nimisha Gandhi: Yes. Ayurveda, yeah.
Jennifer Tracy: Then what happens and how old are you at this point?
Nimisha Gandhi: 22. So I graduate at 22, like ... Yeah, and I stayed back in LA because I'm in love with LA not a person.
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah, yeah. It's easy to fall in love with LA.
Nimisha Gandhi: Yeah. It was definitely taken away by the glitz and glamor. I was going to school and then I had a best friend and her and I were just partying every single night in Hollywood and going to these fancy parties-
Jennifer Tracy: Sure.
Nimisha Gandhi: ... and then doing these like little modeling gigs on the weekend. It was a lot of fun and so I couldn't go back home to my traditional family. They are very cool. Like more modern than a typical Indian family but-
Jennifer Tracy: Sure. When you're 22, you need to spread your wings. Most 22-year-olds, they want to have that ... Like we were talking about the independence. You want to be a part from, at that moment.
Nimisha Gandhi: Right. So I wasn't ready to get back, so I hung around in LA and I wasn't sure what I was going to do with Ayurveda because yoga was just becoming a thing because this is like 2005. So, even yoga wasn't widespread. So I was like “Now what do I do with this? Whose going to hire me?" I didn't think to start my own practice, that didn't seem like something I could do. So, I just continued doing the research work I was doing at UCLA. I was working in clinical trials at UCLA, and that was fun for a while and I was running research studies, and I ended up doing that for five years.
Jennifer Tracy: Wow.
Nimisha Gandhi: Yeah, because I was still figuring out what I wanted to do. Yeah, yeah.
Jennifer Tracy: What kind of ... I don't know if you're allowed to say now that it's passed, but what kind of clinical trials were they?
Nimisha Gandhi: Oh yeah. They were part of the addiction center at UCLA and so I was working Phase I, Phase II, trials with people addicted to cocaine and methamphetamines.
Jennifer Tracy: Wow.
Nimisha Gandhi: Yeah. Which, I don't know, it's just something that fell into me. Like it's not something I was like “Oh, I'm going to work here.” But it just worked out and I ended up staying there. So it was really cool. I got to work one on one with patients and then I got to eventually write studies. Then we got on the other regulatory side where then now I was trying to secure grants to fund these studies. But even doing these studies, I just felt like, “Okay, it's really cool. We're trying to help people,” but it was very pharmaceutical. It was like, okay, let's get people off of cocaine by giving them this drug, give this other drug, and that also didn't resonate with me. Especially as my practice with Ayurveda became stronger and stronger and my understanding of medicine from a holistic view.
Nimisha Gandhi: I just started seeing that like, maybe people need a drug in between that they need so much more to not be addicted. So, my calling towards a more holistic medicine just kept getting stronger and stronger.
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah. So you did that for five years and then what? What happened after that?
Nimisha Gandhi: I moved back to the Bay area. I moved back in with my parents. My grandfather was really sick and I just ... My grandfather was like my dad also because we lived in the same house and I was clearly his favorite, so I just needed to be there with them. Then shortly after that, my grandmother passed away, so I just needed to be home. Then I started just creating a life for myself in the Bay area.
Jennifer Tracy: Did you open a practice at that time?
Nimisha Gandhi: No.
Jennifer Tracy: No.
Nimisha Gandhi: I was like, “Okay, I'm going to go back and become a dietitian,” because that seemed more doable. But something kept holding me back from actually following through with it. I took the Jerry's, I applied, but then there was like just something. Then I started coming to San Francisco to party, because I was like, “I'm still young, and I need to go out clubbing and find a boyfriend,” and do all this stuff. So, that's exactly what I did. I started partying in San Francisco, I met a whole group of friends who eventually then I met my husband in Sausalito, and we just started dating.
Nimisha Gandhi: It was a very quick and fast romance, and we got married. I kind of got swept away with his lives because he was this big tech guy, and I'm just this girl. I just felt like I was this girl, who's coming from LA, and has a whole different view of the world. When you came to San Francisco, the view is so different from LA. People here are talking about technology to save the world and AI for this, and an app for this. And I was like, “What is this world?” I was a little swept away by it because I feel like in San Francisco when you're young, these big tech guys are like celebrities. In LA, I was like, “Oh, I'm hanging out at this cool party with this actor and that.”
Nimisha Gandhi: Now I'm in San Francisco, hanging out this house party with this tech dude that ... I was like, “This is whole different."
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah. There's a status piece of it.
Nimisha Gandhi: Yeah. When you're young and impressionable you're just, “Oh, this is cool. Maybe this is what I'm supposed to do with my life like do something in tech.” I don't know. So anyway, my husband and I had a really quick courtship before he proposed to me, and then we ended up getting married. Him being in tech and doing a company after another company, he was all ... Gaming was really big at this time. So he was like, “Let's do a gaming company together.” I was like, “Well, okay, I'll help you out with it, but I think I'm going to stick to nutrition and food.” So, at the same time we're starting this gaming company, I also started a blog, and teaching people how to shop at the farmer's market and just be ... Like take control of their food and their bodies, and really care about the environment through the food we eat.
Nimisha Gandhi: So, I had started this blog, and I was getting these events, and I was taking people to the farmer's market to teach them how to shop there. Then I got the local cookbooks and then I contacted the authors of the cookbooks, and I was like, “I'm going to have a cookbook party around your book. You want to be involved?" So I made this very social club blog and that was fun. But then the gaming thing started taking off too, and we got funding for our games and we had this beautiful office in downtown on the 20th floor overlooking the sweeping views of the bay. I was like, “Oh, okay. Now I'm the CEO of a gaming company.” It was just this whole different role that I was taken on, and I think I was really taking it on because that's what my husband wanted.
Nimisha Gandhi: He is older than me. Like much older. He's about their 13 years older, so I was like, “Okay, he knows what he's doing, and I'm not really making money off of this blog.” I was very unsure of myself, and just not confident in what I wanted and I kept not listening to my intuition of what I wanted. But the gaming thing, it was really interesting, and it was fun. I got to learn so much about fundraising, running a company, being a woman in a very, very male dominated industry, first of all, gaming, and then just silicon valley. That was like eight years ago, so very different than the landscape today actually. But then that was just unsustainable. I just couldn't deny my intuition anymore.
Nimisha Gandhi: My husband and I were having problems because we're working together. We were newly weds, now we're working together and then all the pressure of the company, I couldn't do it anymore. So I left it, and I went to a holistic nutrition school here in Berkeley. I was like “Okay.” Then I started doing that, and it was awesome. I felt I was getting back to myself and then I got pregnant while I was at nutrition school, which was fine. It was the best thing to be pregnant while you're going through nutrition school, surrounded by the best people, and the best mentors, and ... yeah. That was what I did after I left LA.
Jennifer Tracy: Wow. You're in nutrition school. You're pregnant. Can I ask, just to back up a second.
Nimisha Gandhi: Yeah.
Jennifer Tracy: You said you weren't allowing yourself to listen to your intuition that was telling you what you really wanted to do. What was that? What was that little itch or that little whisper? What was it saying to you? What was calling to you that you were ignoring?
Nimisha Gandhi: Yeah, it was just saying that I'm not in the right place. I'm not happy. I was deeply unhappy. I was like, “This is not the life I envision when I got married.” I didn't vision working around the clock. That goes against everything I've learned in Ayurveda and just my own intuition, like not taking care of your body. Again, it was just this very macho culture like you can sleep when you're dead, and if you're out having fun, that means you're not focused on your company, so that means you're not a serious entrepreneur. All of these negative mentalities that come with owning a business.
Nimisha Gandhi: I don't think that's so true anymore because women are getting better in the industry and there's more prominence for women in the industry now. But back then, I didn't know too many women I could connect with, and talk about these issues and, and it just wasn't serving me. I started gaining weight. I couldn't even think clearly. I knew I wasn't following my passion. It was just like a knowing. It would get really intense with the week before my period, and I'm like, “God.” I would blame it on my PMSing or something, and that wasn't. I know that the closer you are to your period your intuition is heightened, and at that time I just wasn't listening to it.
Nimisha Gandhi: I was not listening to my body and my intuition. So, when I said enough was enough ... Then it got all these signs from the universe. I met this woman who we would go to her restaurant a lot and then she went to the nutrition school and I would just keep meeting people who would keep talking about this nutrition school. I was like, “Okay, okay. Back Burner, back burner.” Then I just couldn't ignore it anymore. Then I was like, “I'm doing this.”
Jennifer Tracy: That's awesome. So then your son was born. You have a little boy.
Nimisha Gandhi: I have a little boy who will be five in four days.
Jennifer Tracy: Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
Nimisha Gandhi: I know.
Jennifer Tracy: What was that like? When he's born, you're in the middle of this nutrition school, you're feeling great and then your son is born, what was that like?
Nimisha Gandhi: Yeah. So while I was pregnant, I felt amazing. I was a poster child for pregnancy. It was a surprise pregnancy, and I was really surprised. Then the first month I was sick, just the nausea and just confusion, like, “Why I'm I pregnant?” Because I was surrounded by so many great nutrition professionals, one of my nutrition teachers, mentors, she took me in, and she was like, “You have to start eating meat. You're not eating enough meat.” Then so I was like, “Okay.” I started eating meat and red something I hadn't ate since I was like 10. I gave it up. All my nausea went away. I got my strength while I was in nutrition school. I was teaching a nutrition high school program in the mission.
Nimisha Gandhi: So I was on my feet talking to these really wild teenagers about eating well. So, I'd come home and I was exhausted. I had lost 10 pounds in my first month of pregnancy, so that didn't seem right. But then, my nutrition teacher, pulled me and she's like, “You need to start eating meat and drink some bone broth.” I started doing that and I felt great. After that, pregnancy was amazing. Everyone was like, "Wow." Like they would literally stop me. I think I did feel really great.
Jennifer Tracy: So, tell me what happens when the baby comes, first of all, how was the birth?
Nimisha Gandhi: I had a home birth, because I was now very immersed in this holistic lifestyle in San Francisco. One of our friends just had a home birth the year before, and she was really advocating it, and it just really resonated. So I got a midwife, and a Doula had a home birth. I created a beautiful sanctuary in our apartment. Basically, we converted our dining room into this birthing room and it's filled with cherry blossom, then flowers, and just when we had this [inaudible 00:26:48] a birthing pool and put it in the middle and it just ... Then on the wall I had affirmations saying, “Your vagina is big enough, you can do this.” All positive affirmations. Then the whole time I'm listening to beautiful music, but it was a long birth, it was 36 hours.
Jennifer Tracy: Oh, my gosh! Wow. You had a midwife and a Doula or I would assume some combination of that?
Nimisha Gandhi: Yeah.
Jennifer Tracy: Okay.
Nimisha Gandhi: Yeah. I had two midwives, and a Doula.
Jennifer Tracy: Wow. Great.
Nimisha Gandhi: It was really cute.
Jennifer Tracy: And your husband was there?
Nimisha Gandhi: Yes, and he was there. He was a part of it and it was a beautiful ... It was long and [inaudible 00:27:31] A lot of issues from my marriage actually arose during the birth. I had heard that ... I had heard that if you don't resolve your issues, they can actually make the birth process go longer. We did, we were having a lot of issues before I got pregnant, and that's how I was so surprised, because I wasn't even sure if I was going to stay in this marriage. But during pregnancy everything was great. We were both very happy with each other.
Nimisha Gandhi: So, I think during the birthing like some of the trauma from the marriage came up and as I was like, “Oh, my gosh, I'm about to have a child with this person and we're not even in alignment about so many things.” So, I think that really prevented me from fully pushing my son out. I think I was holding back. I realized that, and I think at one point ... My husband he's older and he's a gentleman, and he wants to do everything and I'm like a bird. I'm like, “Give me my space.” He's like the elephant, I'm the bird. He's like [inaudible 00:28:44] date shake because if he thought I was thirsty and I'm like, “I don't want this right now. I'm pushing.”
Nimisha Gandhi: I'm going through a contraction, he's like [inaudible 00:28:54], and then at one point he had a plate full of food that he brought for me and I took the plate and I just threw it and it went shattering across. My Doula looked at me, and she took him aside and she was like, “Just don't come into the room for a while.” Which is what I needed because I needed my space, and that's part of my personality too. But we then had this beautiful birth. He did touch the baby and cut the cord. It was really interesting because ... You hear all these romantic stories about home birth and I'm all for them, and I'm still all for a home births and I think people should have the birth that they want, whether it's at home, whether it's a C-section, I'm for all kinds of births, I support it.
Nimisha Gandhi: But there is this romantic notion of home births and they don't tell you that, when you are home birthed, it is the environment you create. But there aren't a lot of people around. So as soon as my midwives and my Doula left, it was just my husband, the baby and I. It's four in the morning and we're like, "Now what?”
Jennifer Tracy: So, it's just three of you at home alone, and it's terrifying.
Nimisha Gandhi: Right. We were like, “Okay,” and I'm exhausted, and I felt gross. I felt like I wanted to shower. I wasn't sure if I was allowed to. But we did end up getting a good birth-
Jennifer Tracy: Why did they leave? Why did they leave you, why didn't they stay or someone else ... That's how ... Okay.
Nimisha Gandhi: Yes. That's just how it works. They were exhausted too, they were with me for such a long time. For 36 hours. They also knew my parents are coming. So, my parents lived across the bridge less than 45 minutes away. So they knew that my parents were coming too. We had already planned for my mom to move in right after I gave birth to support me in that first month. So there was that first five hours, my parents didn't come till like 8:00 AM the next day. So, I was like, “Okay.” But then it was really nice because I was so exhausted all I did was stare at the baby. I was like “Whoa, there's this baby who;s just pooping and sleep here.”
Nimisha Gandhi: So it was really sweet. Then my mom moved in. It's very traditional ... I had already planned to make all these traditional foods, and I was like, “Whatever you make and has to be gluten free and dairy free and”... She was like, “Okay.” Yeah, but it was really nice to have her there and that [inaudible 00:31:43]. It was really interesting. But then I became a crazy mom were, “No, I must nurse my baby and I must hold my baby all the time.” Like the baby must not touch a surface. The baby must be held the whole time. I don't know what I was thinking, just all these things you hear about attachment parenting, and it made me crazy.
Nimisha Gandhi: Then I had a lot of postpartum anxiety too because I was like, “Oh, I wanted to be a bad ass nutritionist, but now I'm a mom. Like am I going to finish school? Am I going to ever do anything with my life?" all of those thoughts. I don't know what to do with the baby. I definitely had a lot of postpartum anxiety. I was getting mad at my mom for holding my baby the wrong way.[inaudible 00:32:41], and I so adamant about breastfeeding the entire time, and then I breastfed for so long that he wouldn't even take a bottle. So then I ended up nursing him and nursing him and nursing him. It was wild. I still reflect back on that time, and I'm just, “Wow, if I could just taken a chill pill.” It's like [crosstalk 00:33:06].
Jennifer Tracy: Yes. Gosh, I so relate to that. But the thing is we can't... there isn't a chill pill. Everything you were experiencing is so normal and so much more common than we know. More in that moment and my experience is this, I felt like I was the only mother in the world who'd ever experience the feelings of anxiety, the feelings of unworthiness, the feelings of my baby's going to get sick and die if we go out in the world. The whooping cough, there was a whooping cough epidemic, and there was a swine flu epidemic when he was an infant, and he was too young to have had any vaccinations yet.
Jennifer Tracy: I was terrified and if we went anywhere, which is rare because I was terrified to go anywhere. Sometimes people do this thing with infants ... It drives me crazy. I still see it happen where they put their fingers in the infant's mouth. The infant is always looking for a nipple to latch on. So they put their finger in the ... and they're like, “Oh look, he's sucking on my finger.” I'm like, “Yeah, get your fucking finger away from my kid's mouth.” Like, “When was the last time you washed your hands? And even if you did”... But my point is going back to looking back and wishing you could take a chill pill. I so relate to that, and it's unfortunate that we don't have things in place where there's more support for someone in your circle or on your team or whatever to say, “Oh, what you're feeling is this, and it's normal and it's okay. Here's how we can support you” or “Here's a Ayurvedic version of a chill pill,” or whatever it is. We'll get to [inaudible 00:34:46] because I'm sure that's what you do now.
Nimisha Gandhi: Yeah. That was the hard part for me, I was like I should know this [inaudible 00:34:52] because-
Jennifer Tracy: That what they do, with do that [crosstalk 00:34:54]
Nimisha Gandhi: Like I'm this [inaudible 00:34:57] professional I should know this. I'm into the Holistic medicine, so there was this added pressure and there were some dark time.
Jennifer Tracy: Did you think about harming yourself at any time? Or did you have any ... When you say dark, that's what I think of.
Nimisha Gandhi: Yeah. Yeah. I remember when I was just crying and crying and crying, and I would wait for my husband to come home and like, “Right, now you're home things are better.” Thinking that he'll just keep the baby or ... I just, I don't know. There was a lot of conflict in what my intuition was saying, what society was saying, what my husband's perception of things. There was like a world wind of like, what do I do? A few things I wish moms said to other moms, before you even give birth, form a mom's group or join a moms group. Because it's going to be so much harder to do it.[crosstalk 00:36:02]
Jennifer Tracy: After. Oh, yeah.
Nimisha Gandhi: I didn't even know. And things that. Or get used to [inaudible 00:36:09] circle. My friend at the time were having children's too, but they were going through their own shit. My girlfriend who lives literally around the corner from me, she had just given birth four months before. She had a very traumatic hospital birth. So her recovery was really long and so I didn't feel I can go to her. People saw me, they would come and visit me, and they were like, “Wow, you just look so amazing.” Because I had given this home birth, and I was in this rob. I think on the outside I did look really great, but it was just this paradox of, “You can look great but not feel great.”
Jennifer Tracy: Yes. When did you ultimately ask for help to get out of it? Did it just fade on its own? What was the-
Nimisha Gandhi: I've always had a therapist, so in that first year I avoided my therapist too. I'm like, “I don't have time to see you.” I don't know, there were a lot of mental games that you play with yourself, but then I did have a couple of consults with her and that was nice. Then I think at some point I started ... Like I remember when my son was about 10 months old, I actually went out with my girlfriend a couple of hours and that was the first time I went out for fun on my own and that felt okay. Just starting to step out a little bit, and also getting more in tune with my work. At this point I had finished up the nutrition school, and kind of becoming a little more passionate about, again, my career goals.
Nimisha Gandhi: That, and then see my therapist consistently, going to more yoga classes and just doing all the things and starting to cook again. I don't think I really even cooked for myself because I was like ... I would make omelets. I make quick dishes, but I used to love to cook. So starting that again, and just all of that. You know what really helped me get over it? It's cannabis.
Jennifer Tracy: Oh, really? Talk about that. Tell me.
Nimisha Gandhi: By this time my husband ... my son was almost three and I still had this lingering anxiety and this lingering even depression, I would say. Like it wouldn't fully go away. Because this is when cannabis was becoming more legal and more and more dispensaries were opening up, and people are just starting to talk about it. I went to the women's conference where I was a health coach there, and then I met this woman who was going to start a cannabis company for women dealing with health, dealing with health issues.
Nimisha Gandhi: Then she, and I just had this instant bond and to like, “Oh, I want you involved in this company.” So, I started learning a lot from her. Before then, I hadn't even gotten high in college. I tried it a couple of times and I had a weird reaction, I never went back to it. I had these one off moments with cannabis, but not a medicinal experience with it. But then I started, just a little bit playing around with it and seeing what felt right.
Nimisha Gandhi: I did all my research because then I was still too anxious. I was like, "What would that mean for me as a mother using cannabis?” Then people came out of the wood works and were like ... my other moms are like, “Yeah, we use it." I'm like, “Oh, there a whole club that I didn't know about.” So still learning more about it and using like tinctures and jabs, that wouldn't really make me high, but just make me calm. So, that was the edge that really pushed me out of it. I think it was like that final thing that I needed.
Jennifer Tracy: Wow. So, you are using this and it's helping you so much with your anxiety and postpartum. Then you opened this, you're part of this company and then what happens with your own nutritionist company?
Nimisha Gandhi: Yeah. So, I didn't fully join her company, at this point, I'm really looking to my intuition. My intuition was like, “Okay, we're here to support each other but not necessarily build something.” Also, at this time I was just really dropped in with my instincts, and again, my husband and I were just not doing well. We just like newborn, we still had our old shit that we never dealt with. So, I started going to women's circles and moon circles. Like where you gather around the new moon and do a ceremony. I started really tapping into ... I basically found a whole new set of friends who were like these goddesses who knew about their intuition.
Nimisha Gandhi: I went back to listening to my intuition and I started realizing, “Yeah, my periods help me how much,” like how to thrive. So, I realized that I get even more anxious and neurotic right before my period. I'm like that happy super, calm mom right after my period. I started leveraging that, and I created a woman [inaudible 00:41:45], which is basically saying a need around my cycle. So, right before my period, I need the garbage taken out, I need the kitchen spotless. I need ... either my husband gets a house cleaner to do it or he does it, I can't be the one to tell him that. Like there better not be any laundry on the floor, and especially at that time, and that's how they can support me.
Nimisha Gandhi: Even my mother, the time, my mom and I shouldn't get into heavy conversations about family drama or whatever it is. It's the triggers. So, I started learning to tweak my life around my cycle just to survive. Which caused me to create Moon Cycle Nutrition, which is now my nutrition practice because it's all ... we are energetically tied to the moon as women, whether we realize it or not. Following that ancient wisdom of the moon cycle to live our best lives. So, I really was passionate about that, and I think started working in that.
Nimisha Gandhi: Then in that time I also became a meditation teacher. I did a training. It was the first weekend I had left my son to do the training. By this time he was already three, and I was like, “I will nurse until he was three.” But on his third birthday, I was like, ”This is the last time.” We made a thing of it, and said goodbye to the [mamam 00:43:12] and that was it. it really freed me up also do a lot more.
Jennifer Tracy: Sure.Of course. Moving out.
Nimisha Gandhi: Still channeling all this creative energy from motherhood and now just more sanity to do what I really wanted to do. So then I created Moon cycle Nutrition. I work with teens, I work with young girls, to women who are struggling with their fertility.
Jennifer Tracy: Hmm. So you work with them one on one?
Nimisha Gandhi: Yes, several ways. I am a board of adviser for Conscious Kitchen, which is a nonprofit bringing chef prepared organic meals to underserved schools. Alice Waters who a big advocate also is on the board as well. So through that, I'm able to get in front of a very young audience and sometimes I'll teach a workshop or something or just be really involved. Then I do have one on one clients, where parents are coming to me, “Oh, my child started her period how can we navigate this in a very positive and empowering way?” So that's my goal to empower young girls, to feel so confident in their bodies. Because a lot of my confidence issues come from that.
Nimisha Gandhi: I was shamed for having my period. I was embarrassed. That one time my pad leaked through my jeans in school and I had to walk around with a sweater tied around my-
Jennifer Tracy: We've all been there.
Nimisha Gandhi: Yeah. Just to empower girls so they can become empowered women and not just hate themselves for something that's so beautiful. Not go through the whole trauma of, “Okay, now I'm in my 30s and I have to do all of these ceremonies and travel around the world to discover myself.” Why not [inaudible 00:45:09] when they're young. Another thing I've seen in a clinical perspective is children are getting adult diseases and conditions. So, I'm really passionate about helping them prevent that or work through it. So I had this one client that when she was 13, she got IBS, and I got it when I was 19. So, she developed a tachycardia, which left her to be in the wheelchair half the time.
Jennifer Tracy: What is tachycardia again?
Nimisha Gandhi: It's like when you have low blood pressure and it causes you to faint. There's different versions of it and different models of it. But she was having all these symptoms, and what was really interesting that ... her dad reached out to me to work with me, to basically hire me as a nutritionist for his clinic. Once he started talking to me, he was, “Oh my gosh, you need to help my daughter.” So here is a GI doctor, and he was like, “I need you to help my daughter.” I worked with her, and ever since I've worked with her, she's never gone back in a wheelchair. She has so much life, and she's created an initiative to help teenagers, find alternative health care practitioners. She's created this whole program just from our work together.
Nimisha Gandhi: So, that was really inspiring and I was like, “Okay, I'm going to definitely dedicate more of my work to the youth." In one way, I work with teens, and with the fertility, I see women in their 20s all the way to their 40s, who either just having irregularities in their period, not having a period, or are struggling with conception. The whole idea is I just want women to get in tune with their body. I even support women who are going through IUIs and IVFs and supporting them so they can still create and conceive in a beautifully conscious way.
Nimisha Gandhi: I do that through nutrition, and lifestyle planning and meditation. So I've even created a meditation for fertility specifically.
Jennifer Tracy: Oh, awesome. Awesome. Wow. Well, so fascinating. It's amazing what you've accomplished, and I can't wait to see what you continue to do. There was a question I was going to ask you, it just flew out of my head. Oh my gosh. Okay. It'll come back to me. We've come to the time where I'm going to ask you the three questions I ask every guest, and then do a lightning round of questions. I just want to thank you so much for coming onto the show. It's just been a delight talking to you.
Nimisha Gandhi: Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.
Jennifer Tracy: It's really [inaudible 00:48:08]. So what do you think about the Nimisha when you hear the word MILF?
Nimisha Gandhi: I think about this one hot mother friend I have who I totally admire, and I'm like, "Oh my God. How is she like that?" I won't say her name.
Jennifer Tracy: Okay, got it. What is something you've changed your mind about recently?
Nimisha Gandhi: Oh, I changed my mind about a trip. I was asked to go on this fully expense paid trip and it didn't resonate with me. The 25-year-old me would have said yes, but the nearly 36-year-old me is like, “No. It doesn't feel right.”
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah, right. Good. How do you define success?
Nimisha Gandhi: Contentment. Success and just contentment. When I was so anxious with my baby, I was just trying to be content with like, Oh, everyone lived today," and just trying to be content and finding contentment in the little aspects of life. That makes for a really full life.
Jennifer Tracy: Agreed. All right. Lightning round of questions. Ocean or desert?
Nimisha Gandhi: Ocean.
Jennifer Tracy: Favorite junk food?
Nimisha Gandhi: Donuts. Old-fashioned donuts.
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah. Movies or Broadway show?
Nimisha Gandhi: Movies.
Jennifer Tracy: Daytime sex or nighttime sex?
Nimisha Gandhi: Daytime Sex. I'm too tired at night.
Jennifer Tracy: Texting or talking?
Nimisha Gandhi: Oh, well- [inaudible 00:49:43]
Jennifer Tracy: I hear you. I hear you. Cat person or dog person?
Nimisha Gandhi: Dog.
Jennifer Tracy: Have you ever worn a unitard?
Nimisha Gandhi: Maybe when I was sick.
Jennifer Tracy: Shower or bathtub?
Nimisha Gandhi: Again both. I do new moon rituals where I create baths for myself on the new moon and I take a bath on the full moon. But it's a definitely a self care pleasure, but then shower, shower is very good and invigorating?
Jennifer Tracy: Yes. Yes. Yes. Ice Cream or chocolate?
Nimisha Gandhi: Chocolate ice cream.
Jennifer Tracy: Great. There you go. No, on a spill of one to 10 how good are you at ping pong?
Nimisha Gandhi: Zero.
Jennifer Tracy: What's your biggest pet peeves?
Nimisha Gandhi: Dishonesty.
Jennifer Tracy: If you could push a button and it would make everyone in the world 7% happier, but it would also place a worldwide ban on all hairstyling products would you push it?
Nimisha Gandhi: Yes. Hairstyling products are so bad for the environment.
Jennifer Tracy: I love it. [inaudible 00:50:48] power choice, invisibility, ability to fly or super strength.
Nimisha Gandhi: Super strength.
Jennifer Tracy: Would you rather have a penis where your tailbone is or a third eye?
Nimisha Gandhi: Third eye.
Jennifer Tracy: What was the name of your first pet?
Nimisha Gandhi: I've never had a pet.
Jennifer Tracy: Oh, what was the name of the street you grew up on?
Nimisha Gandhi: Continental.
Jennifer Tracy: Continental. So, usually this is how I come up with people's pet names, but since you've never had a pet hmm continental is great. I think just continental is your pet name. Just continental. [inaudible 00:51:23] or Madonna continental. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage continental, [crosstalk 00:51:32] Nimisha, such a treasure to speak with you. Thank you so much for being on the show.
Nimisha Gandhi: Thank you for having me. That was so much fun.
Jennifer Tracy: Thanks so much for listening guys. I really hope you enjoyed my conversation with Nimisha. Tune in next week for another amazing MILF conversation. Also, want to just remind you a quick reminder this month's give February, I'm giving $25 for every iTunes review that comes in for MILF podcast to Lumos an organization helping children to stay with their loving families. They can be found at wearelumos.org if you what to check them out. If you haven't yet, grab your free copy of Seven Habits of Bollard mills on my website. milfpodcast.com I'll talk to you guys soon. Have a great week. Thank you so much for listening.