Rebecca B.: Not accepting ourselves is such a colossal waste of time. I don't know what that gets us and after losing so much in my life and like let's be really real. I lost my mother and father seven months apart in 2013. I lost my stepfather just months before that. I lost my biological father and I didn't even know until I went and looking for him. Like I've suffered a lot and not to get dark, but I've seen some stuff and my family has experience, I think the worst stuff. I'm not going to waste time being hard on myself. It's just stupid. I'm so lucky to be here for so many reasons.
Speaker 2: You are listening to the MILF podcast. This is the show where we talk about motherhood and sexuality with amazing women with fascinating stories to share on the joys of being a MILF. Now here's your host. The milfiest, MILF I know Jennifer Tracy.
Jennifer Tracy: Hey guys. Welcome back to the show. This is MILF podcast, the show where we talk about motherhood, entrepreneurship, sexuality, and everything in between. I'm Jennifer Tracy your host. Happy the mid September. Hi, we're just rolling in the fall. Just keep going. And today on the show we have [Rebecca Burooky 00:01:23], who is an author. She's a certified meditation and yoga teacher. She's a mother of five. She rescues farm animals. She has about literally, probably at least 50 more things that I could add to this list that she does. She just wrote a children's book that's going to be turned into a series. She's brilliant. She's funny. We had the best time and it was all online because she's in New Jersey. So I didn't get to be in the room with her but it felt like I was and I'm in love with her now. So I can't wait to share this interview with you.
Jennifer Tracy: But before I do, I just want to make a few quick announcements. Just a reminder that this month's highlighted give is Amnesty International. You can go visit them at amnesty.org. You can get involved, you can donate money, you can just learn. This is an incredible organization and I'm just scratching the surface of what they do. They are really just making so much change and supporting so many various groups of people in the world, amnesty.org check them out. I also want to thank the sponsor for today's show, Serpent Lane. Serpentlane.com is an online luxury store that provides affordable, size inclusive, provocative and fun lingerie. It's beautiful lingerie.
Jennifer Tracy: And as a MILF podcast listener, you get an exclusive discount using the code MILF 15. So please do that. I personally own a ton of stuff from this company. It's amazing. It's really fun. It's affordable so you don't feel like ... you don't have to spend $100, even $50 to get a nice whatever it is. She has all kinds of stuff. She has some pole dancing apparel. She has a lot of different lingerie. She has body suits. She has an array of like panties and bras sets and kinky stuff like collars and chains and body jewelry. It's really fun just to go on there and browse, but you do get a discount. She also does free returns. So that's really nice that if you got something and you said, "Oh, this doesn't really work," you can return it for free. So serpentlane.com, check it out. Thank you so much for sponsoring this episode of MILF podcast. Sometimes I gets so excited that the words in my head get ahead of my mouth. Anyway, I don't know if that makes sense. So without further ado, here is my interview with Rebecca Burooky. I hope you guys enjoy. Hi Rebecca.
Rebecca B.: Hello.
Jennifer Tracy: Do most people call you Becks?
Rebecca B.: Nobody calls me Becks outside of the online world.
Jennifer Tracy: Got it.
Rebecca B.: But it's okay if you do because that's how you know me.
Jennifer Tracy: I mean I think of you as Rebecca because that's how your name comes up on my email now. First of all, what a small world of how many different connections we have. I found you because of Jen Pastel off, because you were taking over one of her like zillion Instagram feeds. And I was like, "Oh, you're so interesting and fun and cool and would you want to be on my show?" And you said yes. I was on the phone with Corrine who is on my team and she was like, "Do you know Rebecca Burooky?" Am I saying your name right?
Rebecca B.: You are, thank you.
Jennifer Tracy: Burooky. And I was like, "I don't know her but I just asked you to be on my show." And she was like, "Oh my God, I work for her and she's amazing." And so yeah, it's been a love fest all around for you. And I of course was doing some last minute research looking at all your stuff this morning and your resume, like just your day to day, just I can't even ... You're one of those women that I'm like, "Where are you hiding the extra 10 hours a day that you do all this stuff?" I mean, I know you wrote a book about it and we'll talk about that but ...
Rebecca B.: I did. Buy the book.
Jennifer Tracy: You are a mother of five. Let's just start with that alone.
Rebecca B.: Yes, I do have those five children. I have to tell you, it's so nice to hear that people are giving me compliments out there in the world because I'm also the mother of two teenagers and an adult woman child. And I'm hungry for those compliments.
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah, I know. And I think when our kids are grown, it comes back. Right? I think, I don't know.
Rebecca B.: I don't know. I write about the relationship with my mother in the book too. So it might come back maybe when they're 40, so I'm not holding my breath.
Jennifer Tracy: Well, I'm going to give a lot of it to you today. I'm going to give you a lot of compliments today.
Rebecca B.: Thank you.
Jennifer Tracy: I'm just going to mention a few of the things. So you are a certified meditation and yoga teacher. You are a birth doula. Let's just throw that in there. That's not a small thing to be added to your resume. I mean, that's like a big training. There's a lot of training that goes with that.
Rebecca B.: Yes. Yeah, I'm always training for that. It's my favorite thing to do. It's my favorite thing that I make no money doing.
Jennifer Tracy: Oh, but how magical? I mean, talk about like finding your bliss. One of your mottos is like, I want to help people find their personal bliss.
Rebecca B.: It also keeps me from having another baby because if I wasn't surrounding myself with other people's babies, I would definitely, definitely be having more. My husband said no, although next week we are going for our first foster care orientation. So I'm sneaking it in.
Jennifer Tracy: Wow. And you have farm animals?
Rebecca B.: Yes. We also rescue farm animals.
Jennifer Tracy: You rescue them, I didn't know that part. I love this.
Rebecca B.: None of our pets are useful. They're all elderly on their way out, needy. They give us nothing except love, of course, yes. They're so cute.
Jennifer Tracy: So you love nurturing.
Rebecca B.: I think that I've done something very terrible in a past life that I'm trying to atone for because there's no other reason. I'm like broke as a joke because I can't hold $1 without giving it away, [inaudible 00:07:35]. My husband's like, Rebecca, you need ... I just started another project with a children's book and he was like ...
Jennifer Tracy: Of course, you did.
Rebecca B.: He's like, "Oh, this is going to be amazing. You're going to make so much money. And I'm like, "Oh, by the way, I turned it into a fundraiser for Baltimore City Schools children." I did something bad.
Jennifer Tracy: I love it.
Rebecca B.: Something real bad. I got to get to heaven.
Jennifer Tracy: You're doing so much good stuff that, I mean, that's good. You've repaid that debt 10 times over.
Rebecca B.: It's my joy. It nourishes me so much. It's really all about me.
Jennifer Tracy: It shows. Well, it shows because you are so joyful.
Rebecca B.: I am.
Jennifer Tracy: And your YouTube videos are just like hypnotic in this joyful way. Even just that like, I haven't read your books yet, but like the titles of your book, so you have four minutes to change your life. I love that.
Rebecca B.: Catchy.
Jennifer Tracy: It's so catchy and it's so great, especially for someone who's busy or someone who's a mom or which is one and the same, because you feel like you don't have four minutes to change your life. But it really does work. There's so many things I want to dive into, but first I want to start from the beginning of you. So where were you born?
Rebecca B.: Do you know this story?
Jennifer Tracy: No. I don't. Is this a good story?
Rebecca B.: It depends. It's okay, now. I was born in Camden, New Jersey. But I was born which was very far from my home because my parents, it was a secret pregnancy because I am the product of an extra marital affair. My parents were giving me away for adoption. Or my parents who became my parents because my mother is my biological mother. the man that raised me as not my biological father, it was her husband. They hid the pregnancy and had me in a secret location. And they were going to say that I died in childbirth for the people around, like our neighbors who knew that she was pregnant. Because I am a biracial black woman and my biological father is black and my mother's husband was not. He was white. But at the last moment, it was a very traumatic birth experience for my mother.
Rebecca B.: She didn't see me right away, but my father who became my father did, and he asked the nurses to see me and they were like, "No, she's definitely not yours. You shouldn't see her." And he demanded it. And you can accept this story however you want to, but this is his truth. He said that when he held me that Jesus spoke to him and said that he was meant to take care of me. So he named me Rebecca and Lynn after his middle name. His name is Gary Lynn or was Gary Lynn, all of my parents are passed now. And he raised me as his own.
Jennifer Tracy: Wow.
Rebecca B.: That's my birth summary which I don't think you were asking, but I was born in Camden.
Jennifer Tracy: Of course that's what I'm asking. I have chills all over my body and tears in my eyes. I have to say, just having talked to you for six minutes and 57 seconds, like it makes sense that that's how you entered the worlds because you are such a bright light, like just undeniably, unapologetically bright. And wow, thank you for sharing that. That's incredible.
Rebecca B.: I like sharing that story because I want people to know why I love so hard and how sincerely I do because the person that raised me was not my biological father and he had to swallow a lot of pride to keep me. I mean he was this blonde, blue eyed Swedish gentleman from Kansas and he had this child who was not his, but he walked around with me and very proudly proclaimed me as his. So for me, family means something very different than blood. I truly believe that all of the people on this whole planet are my brothers and sisters and all children are my children too. So I don't have this idea of like separation or borders or anything. I think that that's why, it's because my parents example, it's really easy for me to give and share.
Jennifer Tracy: Stunning. Were you an only child?
Rebecca B.: No, I have an older sister who's half Japanese? A full white little sister. I call her double white. She's sweet.
Jennifer Tracy: How is your older sister half-Japanese? How is that?
Rebecca B.: Because my mother was married before.
Jennifer Tracy: Okay, got it. So that's interesting. All the multicultural and multiethnic just swirling around, it's so great.
Rebecca B.: We are every shade of brown in my family.
Jennifer Tracy: So did you grow up in Kansas then?
Rebecca B.: No. I grew up in New Jersey. If you can [crosstalk 00:12:22] tell from the terrible accent.
Jennifer Tracy: No, you don't. If it's there, it's very slight. But what was that like growing up biracial? [crosstalk 00:12:35] how did that work?
Rebecca B.: I didn't grow up biracial. I grew up white because it was a secret and it's a long story. It's something that actually doesn't happen or it does happen quite often. Children who could be passing, because I have been white passing where I'm passing for something else. I'm what you call ambiguously brown. My parents chose because of the secret and because of the shame, because that's the time it still is very much the time that we live in that I was raised at least outwardly to present as white. While I knew in my heart and then from talking to people, other people in my life and neighbors and close friends with my mother is that I did have another father. It wasn't something that I could talk about openly until after my parents passed in 2013. So it was a secret even from my general audience in a lot of ways.
Rebecca B.: But all of my close friends and family knew. And certainly in high school and middle school, all the black girls in school were like, "Girl, he ain't your daddy." I'm like, "I know, but I can't talk about it." That's a whole other podcast. But it was a strange and disorienting and confusing and it created a lot of shame and a lack of understanding about who I was and where I came from. So there's a lot of reconnecting and searching that I'm doing. I'm finding that part of my family and connecting with them and also my ancestry and my history.
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah. I can imagine. So at what age did they ever sit down and really talk to you about it? Or did you just piece it together? I mean, you already knew before. It sounds like they actually ...
Rebecca B.: I knew for sure when I was 18. Like I knew the circumstances, because my older sister's 10 years older than me and she was able to share a lot of the story. I have a godmother Alpha, who thank goodness I had the influence of a black woman in my life because I really needed that. And she knew the story. She was best friends with my mother. She guided me in a lot of ways. It wasn't until though I was I think 32 that my mother during an estrangement and it was a lot of surrounding this issue that she wrote me a letter and it had my father's name in it and ways to find him. I sat on that for a really long time and unfortunately when I finally I decided to look for him, he had already passed. But I know that I have a lot of family out there and thank goodness for ancestry.com and 23andMe because I've connected with a lot of amazing people and also with a lot of details of my personal ancestry going all the way back to slavery.
Jennifer Tracy: That's incredible.
Rebecca B.: It is.
Jennifer Tracy: What a journey girl? That's intense.
Rebecca B.: It is intense.
Jennifer Tracy: [crosstalk 00:15:29]. That's not your everyday genealogy tree.
Rebecca B.: No, I feel very lucky though. I feel very lucky.
Jennifer Tracy: That's incredible. What a beautiful story. Well there's so much.
Rebecca B.: I know I just like to put it all on the ...
Jennifer Tracy: Oh no, I do too. And like bounce around and I'm not diagnosed with ADD but I for sure have like, I can't hold [crosstalk 00:15:49] because I just get excited and like ...
Rebecca B.: Me too.
Jennifer Tracy: So you grew up in New Jersey and then what happened when you were 18? Did you move out? Did you go to college?
Rebecca B.: I moved out when I had just turned 17. To make it brief, I had a bad childhood. My life started as an adult. My life started as an adult because I don't have many happy memories before that. But there was a lot of violence, there was a lot of mental illness with me and both of my parents. We lived in abject poverty, but not just the kind where you don't have money, but there was a lot of neglect and my house was filthy and falling apart. Even though we lived in a working class neighborhood where no one had money, we were that family on the block that really didn't ... like the grass was long and toys were left out.
Rebecca B.: It was bad. So it was a very violent episode the night that I moved out. And I stayed out, I went out on my own, I bounced around between different family members and friends and sometimes in my car. I ended up in a relationship very young at 18 with a guy in a band and got pregnant soon after and we tried it out and had two more kids together and got married. And I lived in New York for a long time, stayed up there and had my first three children. But I've been a mom and out on my own for every single minute of my adult life.
Jennifer Tracy: So you had your first child very young, your first children?
Rebecca B.: Well, I mean, very young by I guess some standards.
Jennifer Tracy: [crosstalk 00:17:29] standards. [crosstalk 00:17:30].
Rebecca B.: Everyone in my town got pregnant in high school. I was a ...
Jennifer Tracy: Well, that's true. I know it's different.
Rebecca B.: In my family, we all had children young, but I was 19 when she was born and 18 when I got pregnant with her. Now she's a senior in college.
Jennifer Tracy: Oh my gosh, that's incredible. Are you still married to that man?
Rebecca B.: No.
Jennifer Tracy: Different man.
Rebecca B.: No. Thank God.
Jennifer Tracy: Okay. So there was a transition.
Rebecca B.: Yes. We have three children together and we divorced when my middle child now was two years old and I have been with my current and forever husband for 13 years. We've been married for almost 11 and we're very happy.
Jennifer Tracy: Congratulations.
Rebecca B.: I adore him.
Jennifer Tracy: It shows. I've saw a few little clips of you guys.
Rebecca B.: Yeah, he's the best.
Jennifer Tracy: So within that context of all of that that's happening and everything you just described. Leaving your family of origin and going out on your own and starting your new family. Having dealt with your own mental health issues and having been around surrounded by what sounds like some mental health and violence and things like that. Can you tell me how on earth did you get to a practicing meditation, yoga? Like was there a series of events or one event or what happened to kind of get you to that?
Rebecca B.: Well, it started with shoplifting, so you can go there.
Jennifer Tracy: Amazing segue. Doesn't it always?
Rebecca B.: My parents had a tough time but they were for a time deeply religious people. So for the formative years of my life, I spent a lot of time in church, upwards of nine hours a week in Bible studies or church.
Jennifer Tracy: Wow.
Rebecca B.: Yeah. I loved it. I was never that kid that like didn't want to go. I love singing and dancing and worship and all of that stuff. I love being together with people and I love ritual. So I was really into it and I had a very deep prayer practice even as a little child. I would say the greatest gift that my mother ever gave me truly was, she told me, I think I was like five years old and she said, "You have a direct connection with God that no man or minister can come in between and you determine that relationship." And because I've always seen things in visuals and why I teach visualization meditation, I saw immediately this little red string going from the center of my chest to up in the sky where God lives, of course and up in the clouds.
Rebecca B.: And even in my darkest moments, I was hospitalized at eight years old with severe mental health issues. I was suicidal at 10. That was my first attempt. I lived in group homes. Through all of that, it was really that idea that I was always being heard and I always had that connection that truly kept me alive. So I prayed every day. But when I was 15, I was working in a used bookstore with my mother and we were packing it up and moving to a new location and I found a copy of Ram Dass's, Be Here Now. And it was, oh God, it looks so amazing. Like the purple cover and the mandala and I didn't have the money and I stole it. And I'm sorry that I stole it. I mean, not really. I'm actually not sorry [crosstalk 00:20:58].
Jennifer Tracy: It changed my life.
Rebecca B.: It changed my life and what it did for me was it took an already very solid prayer practice, but that while I was praying, feeling very, not forgotten by God, but wondering why it wasn't working. Like, am I not good enough? Like why am I suffering so deeply? It allowed me to turn that prayer inward and look to myself in the form of meditation as a way to connect with my inner wisdom. That was really exciting for me as a teenager, a very weird teenager. I'm understanding more and more that this isn't the norm. But I have meditated every single day since. Meditated and prayed and I'm 41 now.
Jennifer Tracy: It's a lot of meditation and prayer.
Rebecca B.: It's so needed.
Jennifer Tracy: It really is. And I've actually missed my meditation practice for the last week and I had my assistant came over yesterday. She comes over about once a week and we were getting a lot of stuff done and I just couldn't focus. And I'm also, I'm very whoo. You're going to learn, I'm a little whoo. So like I'm a Gemini, I'm an aries sign. And it was like I was buzzing around the room and I said, "I got to meditate." And oftentimes I'll meditate with her and be like, we're going to stop everything. And when she first started to work for me, she came in, I said, we're going to start the day with a meditation. She was like, "Dude, I love this job." And I set the timer for 15 minutes, said, "We're just going to meditate 15 minutes." And I've been a big proponent of it and learned how to do it in my 20s also.
Jennifer Tracy: Well, you learned in your teens. I remember the first time I learned it actually was in algebra class. We had this old, like he wasn't old, he was old to me because I was 16. But he taught us meditation in algebra and they would let him do that. We were at this ... anyway and it was the first time I kind of got it. I didn't pick it up again until I was in my mid 20s. But every time I pick it up again because I always drop it off like, "Oh I just get so ..." I love the title of your book. You Have Four Minutes To Change Your Life because it really only takes, and I mentor some women and they're like, "I don't have time, I don't have time." And I always tell them what one of my mentors told me, if you can't meditate for seven minutes a day, She said seven, I usually say three, you should be meditating for an hour. And someone told her that. But it is, I need it to ground me because otherwise I just fly into, I'm not like in my body. And what you said about like, it helps you kind of turn inward to your inner wisdom, which is then I believe also connected to a higher power, multiple powers.
Rebecca B.: And everyone else.
Jennifer Tracy: And everyone else.
Rebecca B.: It's that collective consciousness. In You Have Four Minutes To Change Your Life, I described meditation as a way to say, and I'm paraphrasing myself, "Hey, I see you. I recognize that you're a thinking, feeling person and you deserve to be heard and I love you." So meditation for me, it could mean sitting on a pillow in a quiet room, closing my eyes. But it's really just a way for me to connect with myself. That can be in 10 breaths. That could be over the course of an hour. I also say there are as many effective ways to meditate as there are people on this planet. So I actually don't give a shit if you meditate or not, like at all. I just want you to find a way to connect with yourself in whatever way feels good for you. Listen, if you actually feel like you don't have time to do four minutes and then just do three minutes. I don't care.
Jennifer Tracy: No, of course.
Rebecca B.: Just take the breath.
Jennifer Tracy: Of course. Well, and I love that. I love that because it's so forgiving and I think there is this idea around it of like, you know, "Oh, I have to have no thoughts when I'm meditating." It's like nobody does that.
Rebecca B.: Who can do that?
Jennifer Tracy: Nobody does that.
Rebecca B.: And I don't even know if that, for my purposes, my time in meditation and I look at it very literally. I'm a very left brain person. That meditation literally means to contemplate a thought. So I say like pick a thought or a few thoughts and sit with them. It's a time to commune with yourself and work things out. Not think about anything, I'll do that when I'm dead.
Jennifer Tracy: I know. Exactly. It's just not attainable and it's not even ... I mean, maybe it is attainable, but [crosstalk 00:25:34].
Rebecca B.: It's a nice goal.
Jennifer Tracy: I guess. I mean, but I mean, I love that you just like have this open acceptance and that it just opens it up for everyone to like have their own thing and I love that.
Rebecca B.: Not accepting ourselves is such a colossal waste of time. I don't know what that gets us and after losing so much in my life and like let's be really real. I lost my mother and father seven months apart in 2013. I lost my stepfather just months before that. I lost my biological father and I didn't even know until I went looking for him. Like I've suffered a lot and not to get dark, but I've seen some stuff. My family's experience, I think the worst stuff. I'm not going to waste time being hard on myself. It's just stupid. I'm so lucky to be here for so many reasons. Looking back to my ancestors who I can name, I can say their names, who were born into slavery. I'm so lucky to be here. I'm not to waste my time complaining. I mean I'm allowed to be sad, but I'm appreciating too at the same time.
Jennifer Tracy: Well, and I think that feeds into why and how you are so full of this joy of life and this vivacity and that you can be so productive. And like, I mean I only listed like two or three things. Like there's so many more things that you're doing and you have a new children's book that you're [crosstalk 00:27:08].
Rebecca B.: Yes.
Jennifer Tracy: I mean, can we talk about that?
Rebecca B.: We can talk only about that because that's something-
Jennifer Tracy: It's looks so amazing.
Rebecca B.: I'm most excited about.
Jennifer Tracy: So also my son who's 10 really struggles with anxiety and we've done a lot of different things and recently we've had a lot of success with hypnotherapy. Which the homework for hypnotherapy is this meditation he does every day with breathing and visualization and connecting to himself, connecting to his higher self. It's been amazing. But so when I saw the promo online for your book Zara's Big Messy Day, which looks amazing.
Rebecca B.: I love Zara.
Jennifer Tracy: And the main character is a little black girl who's 10.
Rebecca B.: Yes. Oh, she's seven.
Jennifer Tracy: She's seven, I'm sorry. I made her 10 because my son is 10. I'm sorry about that. Who struggles with anxiety and ...
Rebecca B.: And she doesn't call it that, for her it's just she has big emotions. She just gets upset.
Jennifer Tracy: So tell me about what came about to inspire you to create this?
Rebecca B.: Well, I have been wanting to write a children's book for 20 years. It's been my dream. So in a lot of ways, and I apologize my publisher for this Hay House because I'm so happy that you gave me book deals. But everything I've ever done in my entire life has been leading up to this moment to have the platform, the access, the freedom, the connections to be able to create this book. So I am doing this as an Indy project. I am self-publishing. See I'm saying Zara because I'm trying to be proper, but if you watched the trailer, I say Zara. Because that's my New Jersey accent.
Jennifer Tracy: I love it.
Rebecca B.: So Zara.
Jennifer Tracy: Zara.
Rebecca B.: Zara, she's this little girl. She is black. She's biracial black, her dad is white, her mother is black. We don't talk about that in the story yet. That's going to be a series. But she is a little girl that just has a hard time and she's really me in a lot of ways. And the premise of the entire series is that she struggles with big emotions or everyday obstacles and a person that she cares about and trust gives her a tool that she then uses herself to be able to manage her own stuff. In this first one, her mother gives her a breathing exercise. So the reader is going to learn alongside Zara and they're going to learn how to connect with themselves in any moment. And see how it doesn't make everything perfect. It doesn't necessarily even change your outside environment or the situation, but it allows you to react in a different way. She's become like a daughter to me.
Rebecca B.: I look at her like a real little kid. I love her personality. My illustrator did a fantastic job with bring her to life and I've been working with this illustrator for years with other stuff with my business. And the love that's going into this is very real. The most exciting part of this project, which it was not the original goal. But I've seen now that it's been so well received, we got full funding in 14 hours on Kickstarter. So now we're going for stretch goals.
Rebecca B.: It wasn't even meant to be a Kickstarter. Someone suggested it and within 24 hours I made the video and just did all the things. I'm so very excited. But we are going to bring Zara at first on tour to Baltimore City Elementary Schools. And we're not just visiting, but we're gifting every single child in the class that we visit a book and all different other goodies. And we're going to teach them to meditate. I'm working in partnership with a very dear friend of mine who is unnamed at this point because for other reasons.
Jennifer Tracy: Got it.
Rebecca B.: He's connected with the Baltimore City School system. He's from Baltimore. People who know me will know who this is. And he is orchestrating and putting together this whole thing. I'm so excited. And with the Kickstarter, there are options to sponsor a classroom so people can for $250, give 25 bucks to the kids, and that's below my costs.
Jennifer Tracy: That's incredible. And guys, listeners, we'll have links to all of this in the show notes because my next question was going to be how can I bring this to my son's school? Because every kid I know, I've ever met.
Rebecca B.: Yeah, I know someone. So we're starting with the Baltimore City Schools. I'm also working with some people in Newark, New Jersey, really trying to ... This is the thing, I'm not trying to highlight that Zara's black. Like that's not the point of the story. But she is black because I am black, biracial. And I live in this world of wellness and operating this world of wellness that is so white, so, so white. And I didn't know why I wasn't healing within this world. It was because I wasn't connected to who I was. I wasn't seeing people that I identified with or seeing stories that mirrored mine. And going into these classrooms and giving this book to little kids. I really want kids like me to see themselves and to know that they have as much access and right to these tools as anyone else. But right now they don't. So that's a problem.
Rebecca B.: So that's a big deal for me and representation truly. And I want like all the listeners out there who are white, have white children, representation of children of color benefits everyone. White kids too and too often the stories about black kids and I talk mostly bout black folks because they truly are the ones that are ... black and indigenous folks are the ones that are suffering most right now in the United States especially, but all over the world. So many stories from black people and black children are being told by white folks. And a lot of people don't know that, especially in children's literature, which is amazing to me. So we need to support more black authors and because that's the only way the story can be told with any kind of authenticity.
Jennifer Tracy: Yes. Of course.
Rebecca B.: Representation matters because kids need to know more about people that they're living with.
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah. Well, and it's so interesting that you started by saying I don't want to highlight the fact that Zara is black and yet it is such a crucial, integral part of this whole experience and your personal history.
Rebecca B.: Our identities, our ancestry, our stories are so important and so critical to who we are. Like I want everyone to see my color. I want them to know where I come from. I want them to know what I'm about. But my blackness is only one part of me. And for Zara, it's that she's any little girl. And this is just a part of her that I want people to see, but also to relate to. So I think any kid can relate to her. She's gorgeous, wait see till you see her.
Jennifer Tracy: I've seen some of you can go online and Rebecca's website and there all of this is in the show notes on my website milfpodcast.com. But do go on and there's even some videos where you'll see some illustrations and people doing voiceover. It's really magical and I can't wait to get my hands on a copy of it.
Rebecca B.: She's so pretty. Her mother is so beautiful. I just love this character so much.
Jennifer Tracy: I'm so happy.
Rebecca B.: I'm so happy.
Jennifer Tracy: And I love that it's going to be a series because I love being able to follow any character really and see how they ... especially at that age, seven is such a crucial age. It's like wow, those developmental years from seven to really 15, 16.
Rebecca B.: 40.
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah, no kidding, right, to death. But congratulations that this is really exciting and I love this program that you're doing and that we can all participate and join and get this in other classrooms everywhere.
Rebecca B.: Thank you. Yeah, it's going to be great.
Jennifer Tracy: It's really cool. So I want to just back up also and talk about the book that just came out.
Rebecca B.: Oh, that one. All right.
Jennifer Tracy: [crosstalk 00:35:03] like, yeah that massive book that I got published and that's like getting all these accolades. It's because your passion project is front and center. I love it.
Rebecca B.: Talks about like attention problems. I'm like X girl to the next girl. I'm not trying to talk about the last thing. It's like, yeah, managing the mother load, let's go.
Jennifer Tracy: So when I saw your resume at first, like I say resume, but just like you go online and look at [crosstalk 00:35:31].
Rebecca B.: I've never had a job. I've been fired from every real job I've ever had like for real. So resume [crosstalk 00:35:36], I've never had a resume [crosstalk 00:35:38].
Jennifer Tracy: You're the most productive mom maybe in all of I don't know the West. I don't know like I can't find the word, the world.
Rebecca B.: I'm shaking my head now.
Jennifer Tracy: You wrote a book like helping as a guide to help people be productive. Productive is not the right word, to creating more space, that's what you call it.
Rebecca B.: So the subtitle, I think it's called, it's a guide to creating more ease space and grace in motherhood. That is something that the publisher makes me do because people love a guide. And it is, look, there's more than one exercise in every single chapter. There's lots of ways to navigate motherhood that will feel less challenging than what's been put out there before. But I want to emphasize so clearly, and I say this in the first lines of the book, that this is not a parenting book. I'm not going to teach you how to be a better parent in almost any regard. Like my kids still sleep in bed with me. They still fight me about cleaning their rooms. It's mostly about my journey through motherhood, how it's informed and influence every single part of my life and how I've created everything that I've created in the context of motherhood. Because again, I was a mother before I was a woman, as my friend Missy says all the time.
Rebecca B.: So I don't know anything else. I don't know how to behave outside of being a mom and that's not my whole life. So I have such a richness of experience beyond motherhood, but it's part of me. So I want women and anyone who identifies as a mother to look at my story and say, "I can do it too." Because truly while I do have privilege, I'm tall, I'm thin, I have light skin, and I talk like the white girl, some people say, and like all those things. I navigate this world with a lot of privilege but I've had a lot of strikes against me too. I think that if I can do this, they can look at my story and find a way that they can do things that they want to do too.
Rebecca B.: The things that truly matter and that truly means something to them. And I give kind of a lesson on how to figure out what those things are because I know that so many of us, because I did it are living other people's dreams too. I thought I wanted a lot of things that I didn't want [crosstalk 00:38:22] and wasted a lot of time. Yeah, I wasted so much time like trying to have a New York times bestseller and all that nonsense and I didn't even want that, I didn't.
Jennifer Tracy: But that comes back to ...
Rebecca B.: I mean, just kidding if someone from my publisher is listening. Oh my God, I'm such an asshole. I was at my book launch party with my agent and the vice president of Hay House in the audience and I'm talking about, I'm telling people, "Don't write a book. It's not worth it."
Jennifer Tracy: Did their eyes get really big and they were kind of like giving you-
Rebecca B.: They [crosstalk 00:38:54] so mad.
Jennifer Tracy: ... like cut off. That is so funny.
Rebecca B.: If they could muzzle me, it totally would, but sorry.
Jennifer Tracy: I love that about you though. And as you were talking just now, I was thinking, and I thought this earlier in the interview, I was like, you really are a unicorn.
Rebecca B.: Oh my God.
Jennifer Tracy: Do you know what I mean by that?
Rebecca B.: Yeah. You have to stop it because I'm actually not. I'm really good at-
Jennifer Tracy: I think you're.
Rebecca B.: I'll tell you why I do well. And this is my advice for the people listening, I do well because I know what I know and I know what I don't know. I don't know, 99.9% of everything ever. I'm good at like two things. And those two things, I rock, I really do a lot of it. I leave everything else to other people. And I ask lots of questions and I humble myself constantly and I beg for help every day like every day.
Jennifer Tracy: I think that's it. I think you just hit on it. I think the other piece of why you do well because you put it that way. And I just to me like why you're just exploding with all this creativity and like life force, is this deep joy that you just emanates from you.
Rebecca B.: I do have a deep joy.
Jennifer Tracy: It's contagious.
Rebecca B.: It's so funny though. I'm so glad that this isn't video because if people could see ... You can see me.
Jennifer Tracy: I told on email. I was like, "Girl, be sweaty, be gross because no one's going to see us. I'm going to be in my pajamas like it doesn't matter."
Rebecca B.: Well check and check because I haven't even taken a shower in three days [crosstalk 00:40:26] because I've been doing this frigging-
Jennifer Tracy: That's how it works.
Rebecca B.: ... Zara thing, like staying up until 12:00, 1:00, 2:00 and then waking up at 4:00. I mean don't do that, but it's just the phase that I'm in. So I'm not a unicorn. A lot of things get let go for me to do the things that are the most important in the moment.
Jennifer Tracy: Yes, of course. And how old is your youngest child now?
Rebecca B.: Oh Lord, she's four. She's going to be five at the end of the ...
Jennifer Tracy: You're in it.
Rebecca B.: Everyone, see this is what happens. This is also what happens, it's called code switching. So like I will get black in the middle of an interview where I'm tired.
Jennifer Tracy: Code switching. Wait, no, that's the thing. I don't know what this is. What's code switching?
Rebecca B.: So for all you white people out there, when black people are alone together and feeling safe. We are different than you see us in public. We talk about your asses. No, we do. So it's using, well there's a thing called AAVE, African American Vernacular English. And that's what white folks would call slang or jive talk or whatever. Because of respectability culture, black people are not allowed to have hair that grows out of their head in natural ways in professional environments. They're not allowed to speak in their natural comfortable language. So we have to talk like white folks when we get at ... A lot of people are going to hate that I say that because like what is talking white? Well, you know, like, you know. So what happens when I get tired in interviews? You will see a market difference if you hear me talking to a black interviewer and a white interviewer. There's a level of comfort that happens in other spaces. So everyone's while though, I'll be like, "Oh Lord."
Jennifer Tracy: So let's hear it.
Rebecca B.: No, I can't do it. It's like a block still and I'm working on that. So she's going to be five at the end of September and she's going into kindergarten and she starts tomorrow as we're recording this. It's like she is the most willful obstinate, the kid does not listen to anything I say. She only does things that I want her to do when she wants them to do it. And I'm powerless, I don't know what to do. My other kids were all so great about going to school and great about everything. I've never had discipline issues. I've never witnessed a temper tantrum until this one. She's breaking me.
Jennifer Tracy: She's breaking you girl. She's like, "I'm going to be the last one and I'm going to just burn you up."
Rebecca B.: Oh my gosh. Burn me up. I don't know how we're going to do it. I really don't. I'm aging three years every year right now with this kid.
Jennifer Tracy: I think that'll pay off though. My kid's very willful too. And what's happening now, I mean it's tough.
Rebecca B.: Wait a minute, I'm going to hit pause. How old is your oldest kid?
Jennifer Tracy: I only have one and he's 10.
Rebecca B.: I'm ragged. I've been doing this for 22 years. It doesn't pay off. You just get more tired.
Jennifer Tracy: I guess I meant for him it's going to pay off.
Rebecca B.: Yeah, for him.
Jennifer Tracy: Because what I like about it is that I know with confidence he's able to advocate for himself. Do you know what I'm saying?
Rebecca B.: That is so important, yes.
Jennifer Tracy: That's [crosstalk 00:43:49] I can flip it and go, "Oh my God, he's such a pain in the ass right now. But you know what? I know ..." And I've heard this from teachers like, and he's not disrespectful with them. He's very disrespectful with me, which it's fine. I actually, it's fine. It's not like he's horrible to me, but he feels free to ...
Rebecca B.: He pushes.
Jennifer Tracy: He really pushes [crosstalk 00:44:09] here with me at home and I'm okay with that. But he will question authority and he will [crosstalk 00:44:16]. Yeah, it is good. I like it. I want him to do that and I want him to ... So anyways, so I'm just saying, but I know when you're in it and you're like, just get your shoes on and get out the door, it's like ...
Rebecca B.: But you're killing me.
Jennifer Tracy: You're killing me.
Rebecca B.: You're killing me. I don't yell anymore. I've been yelling sober since March 8th of this year.
Jennifer Tracy: Yelling sober. I love that.
Rebecca B.: Yeah. I did have an anger problem. I mean, like legitimately I had an anger problem where it wasn't that I was this raging maniacal person. But I had this chip on my shoulder, like the world is against me. And why can't it be fair? And so I had to let go of that and there was an incident on March 8th, the morning of March 8th where I was screaming at my then 15 year old and on the way to school, dropping him off and I was crying and he was crying and I was saying all the wrong things. Like, what is wrong with you and you're killing me. That day I made the decision to go back into therapy and fix this. So I'm yelling sober.
Jennifer Tracy: I love it.
Rebecca B.: And because it was an addiction, it was an attachment to anger and it was the way addiction shows up in me. Because I am from a family of addicts, but I don't have a drug or alcohol addiction. So I worked through that. But yeah, I don't know where it was going with that. But the kids with advocacy, self-advocacy is so important. I have, I think you know this, my oldest ... you probably don't know all of it, but my oldest has a genetic condition that affects her mobility. So sometimes she's in a wheelchair and sometimes she walks with a cane.
Rebecca B.: She's a powerhouse. Like she was an RA. She worked her way through college. She's a senior now. She took on all of that herself. Really advocating for herself, making sure that she had her own, the right accommodations and a heading like being president of the disability group at school. My two boys both have visual impairment. My two older boys and then my youngest boy is a trans boy. So he's eight year old little trans kid and advocating for themselves is something that's incredibly important and that we teach them to talk about all the time.
Jennifer Tracy: Yes. That is amazing. I just had on the show. I mean I have so many questions for you and I have just now my respect for you even just ratcheted up more. That's incredible. Because you're obviously raising really authentic beings who know who they are. Just two weeks ago I had on the show, [Paria Hassouri 00:46:42] and she's actually writing a book because her middle child came out as trans when she was 13.
Rebecca B.: I saw that she's a psychologist.
Jennifer Tracy: She's a pediatrician.
Rebecca B.: Pediatrician. Yes.
Jennifer Tracy: It's just so like that episode, I can't even tell you how many messages. I mean I get messages on most of the episodes, but I can't tell you how many messages I got. People thanking me for putting her voice out there because they don't know how to talk about it. Some people are going through it, they don't know how to deal with it. And it's just something that we just need to keep talking about.
Rebecca B.: We were so lucky because it never felt like something we had to deal with because Sonny, that's his name, has really been sunny from the very beginning. There's a story in my book where I was trying to find out the sex of the baby and my midwives didn't do sonograms. And I was like, "I need to find out." And she's like, "Well you can go get your insurance to do it or you can pay cash or whatever." She told me, she's like, you can find out what you're going to get but never who you're going to get. It was almost like she was predicting. But Sonny has always been a boy for real and always expressed as such. So there was no transition. It was just this is my name now and these are the pronouns I want to use. And everybody in our circle, thank God, really because we're so lucky and we live in a really, really great state that is fiercely protective of trans kids rights, legally. It was seamless, totally normal.
Jennifer Tracy: That's so amazing. So great to hear for people who don't live in a place like that to know that it's possible-
Rebecca B.: I can imagine. It is possible. But I'll tell you that the legal barriers I really feel for the parents who are living in States that are not New Jersey or California. Even more liberal States like Oregon I know that there's a lot of struggles. I have friends there who are struggling. It's really fricking hard and as a parent it can be the most heart wrenching experience to have your kids not be accepted and not be held in safety. So my heart goes out to them. We're lucky. We're very lucky.
Jennifer Tracy: You're such a powerhouse. I can't even like, I'm just in love with you.
Rebecca B.: You have to saying this, stop it.
Jennifer Tracy: Sorry. Okay.
Rebecca B.: I'm just really ...
Jennifer Tracy: I can't help it.
Rebecca B.: I haven't showered in three days I smell bad. Like this [inaudible 00:49:00].
Jennifer Tracy: And I love you more for it.
Rebecca B.: I can't, every time I do one of these, I'm like, "Rebecca, talk slowly. Don't yell. Don't do that laugh you do. And please don't tell them about your vagina or that you smell." I don't because it's ...
Jennifer Tracy: Wait a minute. What about your vagina?
Rebecca B.: Oh, that Agnes. She's pissed.
Jennifer Tracy: Your vagina's name is Agnes and she's angry like, okay, I didn't think I could love you more, but now we're going into this. Tell me about this.
Rebecca B.: Tell you about it. I passed five children through it. She's been through it. Things have been through her. She's done. She's so pissed off at me. It's all right though. I mean, she's all right. My husband still likes her, but it's ... I don't know I question that too though. Because I'm like, if Agnes could talk, she'd have like a smoker's voice and she kind of just be like, she'd call it. The girl is struggling. She's on the struggle bus.
Jennifer Tracy: Oh, my God. I love you. Holy shit, girl.
Rebecca B.: I should write a book about her.
Jennifer Tracy: Definitely.
Rebecca B.: Nah.
Jennifer Tracy: What do you mean nah?
Rebecca B.: Nobody wants it. No one needs to hear from her. She has the worst advice.
Jennifer Tracy: That's exactly the book I want to read though. Someone giving [crosstalk 00:50:29].
Rebecca B.: All right, maybe.
Jennifer Tracy: So my dear, we've come to the time when I ask you three questions that I ask every guest. Then I asked you a lightning round of questions. What do you think about Rebecca when you hear the word MILF?
Rebecca B.: Oh my God. Why did you name your podcast that? Do you know what I thought about? Like, what am I doing going on this podcast [inaudible 00:50:58]? I don't know. I mean it's silly to me because I don't know what makes a mother different than if we're going with that meaning. What makes a mother different than any other woman? Like I'm totally doable and I was doable. So it's despite Agnes.
Jennifer Tracy: Agnes aside. So to answer your question, why did I name it that? The short version is that when my son started preschool and I was coming out of just a severe postpartum depression anxiety that had been going on for three years on diagnosed. I had sort of a sexual awakening because they took a pole dancing class with another mom from preschool. And something happened inside of me where I realized that I wasn't dead inside and I realized that I was still a sexual being. And I realized how I had adopted some other idea, talk about when we were talking about like other people's ideas of what we become or grow into or what we want to achieve in our lives. I had sort of adopted this idea that like, "Well, once I'm a mom, everything else just shuts down." I don't want to ... because that was my experience, I didn't want to have sex because I was so depressed and my husband was gone. He left. The husband at the time, I'm divorced now.
Jennifer Tracy: So I had this sort of awakening. Then what happened was my creativity came back and came in fresh and I started writing. I wrote a novel, I started helping other writers and it was like, "Oh my God, this is all like this creative force that is new." And it all sort of started with that sexual ... I mean, I don't want to say sexual awakening. It's more like a sensual awakening with the pole dancing. Like I learned how to be in my erotic body for the first time. So I was like, I want to turn this meaning on its head because it's a male coined pornography phrase, the acronym. Excuse me and take a sip of water.
Jennifer Tracy: So the subtitle is Moms I'd Like to Follow, but it is with a wink and a nod to the original acronym. Because yes, we are all doable and all of that. But also everything I've learned, I've learned by following other moms, everything from the beginning. I mean my mom just wasn't really around when my son born. And she's so amazing and lovely, but it's not, I don't have that kind of relationship with her. So I would lean on other moms, my peers. I didn't know how to do anything and I was just like, what the hell? So anyway, that's the long answer.
Rebecca B.: But sorry, I should have known that.
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah. You really should have by osmosis. No, of course not.
Rebecca B.: So, next question. I'm ready.
Jennifer Tracy: What's something you've changed your mind about recently?
Rebecca B.: I very much entrenched in racial justice, social justice, not the trendy kind. I've been doing this for a really long time. I used to follow a lot of different voices and faces in racial justice, particularly black men and some white women. But I have shifted my opinion to really believe that black women are the only ones that should be doing this work, for real. And if we're following, and I know that white fragility was a really great book but it was still written by a white woman and therefore it is limited. So I think that if you are looking to change your ideas about your own racial bias-
Jennifer Tracy: Everybody [crosstalk 00:54:40].
Rebecca B.: [crosstalk 00:54:40] anti-blackness if you are a non-white person because every non-white person has it, you really need to be following black women. So I've changed my mind about that and I'm really, really, I'm really passionate-
Jennifer Tracy: I love that.
Rebecca B.: ... with that statement.
Jennifer Tracy: How do you define success?
Rebecca B.: What did Maya Angelou say? I quoted her in my book a couple times. It's like doing what you love and loving doing it or something like that. I don't know. It's really, I feel very successful. I feel very successful and I got to tell you, I hardly have two nickels in the bank. I have a Disney trip that I'm paying for it and it's like, this is [inaudible 00:55:21] that I booked. I'm taking all five kids plus I'm my oldest boyfriend. They've been together for five years. I'm taking them all, we're going to Disney. I don't know how the hell I'm paying for it, but we're doing it.
Jennifer Tracy: That's going to be amazing.
Rebecca B.: But I feel very successful that I get to do those kinds of things and I get to help people. And I live in a nice house and I have a lot of love in my life. So I feel safe every day. And I get to work for my people. I get to really uplift and center and put forward black people and black voices and that is very, very, very important to me. So I feel super successful.
Jennifer Tracy: Awesome. I feel that for you. Lightning round, ocean or desert?
Rebecca B.: Desert.
Jennifer Tracy: There's whales in the ocean. Favorite junk food.
Rebecca B.: Oh, Girl Scout samoas, I had three this morning.
Jennifer Tracy: I always say that girl scout cookies are like pornography. I have them in my deep freezer.
Rebecca B.: I know. I do that too.
Jennifer Tracy: Because it tastes better, but I also think it'll prevent me from eating the whole box, but it doesn't.
Rebecca B.: No, I just have anxiety about running out, that's why I buy a lot.
Jennifer Tracy: Movies or Broadway show.
Rebecca B.: I've never been to a Broadway show and I lived in New York for 10 years. It's a problem. Call my husband [crosstalk 00:56:46] need to chat about it. Yeah, next thing. I'm going to my first opera though, a girlfriend's taking me.
Jennifer Tracy: That will be amazing. Daytime sex or nighttime sex, Agnes.
Rebecca B.: Daytime sex. I'm a freaking tired.
Jennifer Tracy: Texting or talking.
Rebecca B.: Voice texting. That's what I do.
Jennifer Tracy: Oh my God and it's so funny when the words come out all crazy, it'll be like ...
Rebecca B.: Oh I don't do that because that would really mess with that.
Jennifer Tracy: Or you mean like the voice record when you record your voice.
Rebecca B.: Yeah. Voice recording and black folks can't do that because we use too many words that Siri doesn't know. Siri is white.
Jennifer Tracy: Cat person or dog person?
Rebecca B.: I hate all my pets.
Jennifer Tracy: You have so many.
Rebecca B.: I know. I'm a pig and a doe person. I love, they're my favorite pets.
Jennifer Tracy: Have you ever worn a unitard?
Rebecca B.: God, no. Why would I wear a unitard? I was poor. I didn't go to like ballet class. What are you talking about?
Jennifer Tracy: Shower or bath tub.
Rebecca B.: Shower, baths are disgusting.
Jennifer Tracy: Ice cream or chocolate?
Rebecca B.: Ice cream, vanilla with rainbow sprinkles.
Jennifer Tracy: On a scale of one to 10. How good are you at ping pong?
Rebecca B.: Zero. I'm sorry, you don't curse.
Jennifer Tracy: Oh honey, we curse. You can say all.
Rebecca B.: Yeah. Oh zero. I have no hand-eye coordination.
Jennifer Tracy: If you could push a button and it would make everyone in the world 7% happier, but it would also place a worldwide ban on all hairstyling products. Would you push it?
Rebecca B.: I don't use any hairstyling products, so yes. Does it look like [inaudible 00:58:23]?
Jennifer Tracy: Superpower choice invisibility or ability to fly or super strength.
Rebecca B.: What would I do with super strength? That's dumb.
Jennifer Tracy: I love dumb.
Rebecca B.: Who says that? Who says super strength? Oh, I meet those people. They're canceled.
Jennifer Tracy: Canceled.
Rebecca B.: I unfriend you.
Jennifer Tracy: I lose some people on this if you ...
Rebecca B.: Am I messing this up? Is this wrong?
Jennifer Tracy: No. You're perfect. You are perfection. No. I lose some people on this question, but it's my weird question and I'm only going to do it for a few more episodes and then it'll be goodbye forever. You know the game would you rather, do your kids play that?
Rebecca B.: Yes. I have teenagers.
Jennifer Tracy: Would you rather have six fingers on both hands?
Rebecca B.: That's disgusting. I'm Inigo Montoya.
Jennifer Tracy: You killed my father. Prepare to die. [crosstalk 00:59:18] Or a belly button looks like foreskin.
Rebecca B.: My belly button does look like foreskin.
Jennifer Tracy: Because you've had five children.
Rebecca B.: [inaudible 00:59:30]. It is disgusting and beautiful. But nobody's going to see it. I have an Audi belly button to start with, so it got jack up.
Jennifer Tracy: Your belly button talks to Agnes. They have conversations. They have sketches, they do sketch comedy on the weekends.
Rebecca B.: Those bitches do not talk to each other. They're the saltiest trifling bitches. They're not talking to each other. Also buy my book about motherhood, it's really nice. [inaudible 01:00:06] what you did. How did this happen?
Jennifer Tracy: Oh my God. I love you so much. Okay. What was the name of your first pet?
Rebecca B.: My face hurts. Oh gosh. I really didn't have ... I can't talk about my first pet. It's a tragic story. I had bunnies that my father took me. Okay, it's lightning round. But my father was very childlike man who didn't have any common sense at all. And he bought two bunnies off the side of the road from a blind man and they turned out, he said there were two boys. I don't know why the blind man would know, but it was a boy and a girl and they had babies so rapidly. So the yes that I didn't even name them and my dad gave them to a neighbor, sold them to a neighbor for rabbit stew. So I don't want to talk about that.
Jennifer Tracy: Oh my God. What's the name of the first pet you got in your house? Your first rescue pet. Let's do that.
Rebecca B.: I had major, was a dog.
Jennifer Tracy: Dog, yeah. No bunnies and that's a traumatic story. Honey, oh my God, no wonder you rescue every wounded animal.
Rebecca B.: I mean, rabbit stew is good. People should, I mean they're allowed to take care of themselves. We lived in a poor neighborhood. Got to do what you got to do.
Jennifer Tracy: Okay, Major. What was the name of the street you grew up on?
Rebecca B.: Third Avenue.
Jennifer Tracy: So your porn name is major third.
Rebecca B.: That sounds amazing. That's what I'm going to start calling Agnes. That's her, that's her role playing name. Slide on into major third.
Jennifer Tracy: Oh my God. Rebecca, you're just say it one last time. You're fucking amazing. Where can people find you? It's all going to be in my show notes, but I want to hear you say like your website name and your social media handles.
Rebecca B.: Is this so people can block me now because they're like, "I don't want to find her." At BexLife, B-E-X-L-I-F-E. It's like thug life with unicorns and rainbows everywhere, bexlife.com, BexLife on Instagram. I cause all kinds of ruckus there, be prepared.
Jennifer Tracy: Awesome.
Rebecca B.: Yeah, the blackness comes through.
Jennifer Tracy: Yes, I want it all. I adore you. I'm so grateful. Thank you for coming on the show.
Rebecca B.: Yeah, this was fun. I probably ruined my career. Thank you.
Jennifer Tracy: Thanks so much for listening guys. I really hope you enjoyed my conversation with Rebecca. Please join me next week for a fresh episode of MILF Podcast and make sure you go and visit serpentlane.com and use that discount code of MILF 15 to get 15% off your lingerie. I love you guys. I'll see you next week.