Andrea Abbott: It's kind of weird that I can decide if I'm going to run right now or sit. So, your body's supposed to help you, your mind's supposed to help you, I'm really good at school. I can remember things, I can do economics against my will. I can learn formulas. How am I besieged by thoughts that are so unproductive? It doesn't make sense. If you're set up to survive, and you're trying to survive, why do you have this flood of thoughts that are so counterproductive that tell you all your bad things. If you had a friend like that, you wouldn't be around that friend.
Speaker 2: You're listening to the MILF podcast. This is the show where we talk about motherhood and sexuality with amazing women with fascinating stories to share and the joys of being a MILF. Now here's your host, the Milfiest MILF I know, Jennifer Tracy.
Jennifer Tracy: Hey guys, welcome back to the show. This is MILF Podcast, the show where we talk about mother hood, entrepreneurship, sexuality and everything in between. I'm Jennifer Tracy, your host. Welcome to May, guys. I'm sitting outside in my little urban backyard. It's absolutely gorgeous. It's probably 70 degrees, there's a little bit of a breeze. One of my dogs is sun bathing, Slash, he loves to sunbathe, and I'm recording this intro. So hi, and I just want to take a moment and thank each, and every one of you, listeners for tuning into this. I'm just loving doing this podcast. I had no idea I was going to have so much fun doing this.
Jennifer Tracy: I'm able to do it because you guys are listening and interested. So, thank you for that. I also want to give a huge shout out to my team. I couldn't do this alone, I mean, I guess I could, but I'd probably still be on episode three instead of episode 45. Derek, my editor is incredible, he's just impeccable and I always can rest easy knowing that he's going to make me sound better than I actually sound. Thank you, Derek.
Jennifer Tracy: Liz handling all the stuff that she handles on a weekly basis behind the scenes, thank you so much, Liz. Kevin, is my show notes writer, he's also impeccable. Thank you so much, Kevin. Last but not least, Sarah [Candella 00:02:26], is my creative producer and Sarah, girl, I could not do this without you. She is my right hand girl and helps me with everything and makes sure everything goes smoothly every week, and she's always thinking about implementing new things, and she has all these amazing ideas. I just love you girl. Thank you so much.
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah, I just always want to remind you guys that I do have a team that helps me do this because ... Oh, and Shaina from Repurpose House, all my beautiful memes every week, you guys, come from them. Sarah hands into them the stuff that's going to be used, like the quotes, and the photos of my amazing MILF guests, but they make them pretty, and they put my logo on them, and they make the titles look good and that's huge. If you are in the market for memes that you don't want to do yourself, and you want to outsource, Repurpose House is amazing. So, yeah.
Jennifer Tracy: There's other resources I have too. I'm always very open about all my resources because I'm one of those people I don't believe that we need to hide how we're doing stuff, because if someone else knows what's in my magic sauce, I think that's silly. You're going to do your podcast totally different than I do mine. So, if I share my resource with you, for me, I feel like that's just growing the good. I don't know. I feel like open hands, leave it open. Sure, I'll tell you where I got everything. If you want to know where I bought my zoom, and what kind of mic I use and that's just how I do business.
Jennifer Tracy: So, anyway. I'm always an open book about all that stuff, and I don't ever pretend that I'm doing all this by myself, because I couldn't. That's the truth. I couldn't do it by myself. I couldn't do it by myself to this level, and have it look and sound as good as it does. You know, and it does. I feel really proud of the product that we're putting out every week. Really proud of the guests that I have on the show, and I'm proud of the production quality. And that feels great. So, anyway, that's my speil about that.
Jennifer Tracy: Couple of quick items of business. Last month in April we did Children's Defense Fund was the give. And we did great for them, thank you guys, everyone who participated and wrote reviews. So, this month I'm doing Save the Children, and I was introduced to Save the Children by my friend Colby [Smolders 00:04:59], who's very active with them. If you go onto my website, my MILF podcast website, there's a giving page, and they'll be a little blurb about them, so you can learn more about them. You can donate to them directly. You can write an iTunes review for MILF podcast in the month of May and for every iTunes review, I will be donating $25 to Save the Children. So, that's that.
Jennifer Tracy: Number two is, May 8th, my second round of Unlocked Writer's Foundation free course is staring. So, you can sign up on either website, milfpodcast.com or jennifertracy.com. I had so much fun doing this last month, I'm doing it again. I can't even tell you how much this just jazzes me up, and I love working with writers and there were some writers in this group that absolutely blew me away. One woman in particular was like, "I haven't written in years, I haven't written in years, can I share with you the first three pages of this rough draft of my novel." Of course.
Jennifer Tracy: She sent it to me, I read it, I was like, "Do not ever stop writing, ever." You are meant to be doing this, whatever else you're doing, stop it, whatever else you're doing that's not bringing you joy, stop. And now she's on this new path and it's just really exciting. Sign up, that's a free course, 21 day course that just kind of brings you through a little bit of my workbook, giving you the foundational skills to tap into that story that is tugging at you to write. So that's for those interested in that.
Jennifer Tracy: This weeks' guest, Andrea Abbott, came to me ... There's a helicopter. Very urban, again, I'm in my urban backyard. There's a roof being put on next door. So there's hammering, there's a helicopter. Real life, real life. Andrea Abbott came to me through Joann Astro, do you remember her, Claudia [Lanos 00:06:49] mom who was on the show. Andrea is a stand up comedian. She is a writer. She is a prolific writer. She's just delightful and wonderful and I had so much fun going to her house and sitting amongst her four dogs, you know I'm a huge dog person. Sitting amongst her four dogs and having this crazy interview with dog happenings, you'll hear in the interview. Yeah, just amazing. So I really hope you enjoy my conversation with Andrea.
Jennifer Tracy: Hi, Andrea.
Andrea Abbott: Hi.
Jennifer Tracy: Hi, Andrea. I know you're beautiful, I know you're very warm.
Andrea Abbott: Goes without saying.
Jennifer Tracy: Goes without saying.
Andrea Abbott: I am warm. I'm actually hot, I'm having a hot flash. I'm very warm.
Jennifer Tracy: I know you have four dogs, that I'm already in love with. Wait four or five?
Andrea Abbott: Four. Four dog. I have four chickens outside, if it wasn't raining I would show, they're right outside, I have a big beautiful organic chicken area.
Jennifer Tracy: There's nothing better than fresh eggs. Do you eat eggs?
Andrea Abbott: Of course, I do, yes.
Jennifer Tracy: Oh there's nothing better than really fresh eggs.
Andrea Abbott: From my little guys, yeah. And I've had four husbands, and I have four children. So four is-
Jennifer Tracy: Your magic number. Your magic number. I'm sure Remington, he's my astrologer and intuitive, he's like more than just an astrologer, he's a numerologist, he's a genius, but he knows all these things. He would say, "oh that means."
Andrea Abbott: Oh yes.
Jennifer Tracy: I don't know. But he's really knowledgeable about that.
Andrea Abbott: That means, you're going to live forever. How about that.
Jennifer Tracy: Yes.
Andrea Abbott: Forever. Yeah, I don't know, I just kind of, I'm very hodge podgy. Do you know what I mean? I see, oh look at that, look at that cute Buddha head. Oh you know what, I need a cross, and blah, blah, blah. Everybody's a winner. Yes.
Jennifer Tracy: I love that. So, where are you from originally?
Andrea Abbott: I am from Fresno, California. I know it's pretty impressive.
Jennifer Tracy: California girl.
Andrea Abbott: Born in Fresno, I left as soon as I could. I graduated early, and I was just in a huge hurry to become a drug addict and get to L.A., start my drug career. I'm like, oh my God, I went through school. My goal I went to [inaudible 00:09:10] to get out of my house, I did not have a good ... I had a beautiful house, it was the people inside that were a little [inaudible 00:09:17].
Jennifer Tracy: What were the people, who were the people, who were the players?
Andrea Abbott: The players were Mom, and she was very kind of like, she spoke like a kitten like Marlyn Monroe and kind of like Ann Margaret, like that all the time. Sis, she called me Sis. Sis, that was my mother, she had five children, but she really didn't want children, she would always say, "I'm not cut out to be a mom." And I'm like, okay, great, because we have a lot of other options.
Andrea Abbott: Then there was my dad who she tricked into marrying her. My parents, if I had pictures, were very cute. That's what they had going for them. They were both very cute. And healthy, knock on wood, no cancer and stuff, so that's good. Only alcohol and some addiction and narcissism.
Jennifer Tracy: Oh, so easy breezy.
Andrea Abbott: Easy breezy. Was so funny because when I finally did get to college and there was this really nice girl named Jane in my sorority, and they had parents' day, and you're looking at your watch.
Jennifer Tracy: No, no, no, I'm checking the levels on my microphone, because my editors going to slap my wrist if I ... you're perfect, don't you worry.
Andrea Abbott: Okay, but anyway, I just remember seeing this really nice girl named Jane at parents' day at this sorority at UCLA, and her parents were so, well first of all they were married, my mom has been married seven times.
Jennifer Tracy: Seven times?
Andrea Abbott: Seven times. So I just come from, my dad was murdered and my ... like a lot of people say trauma is very in right now to say trauma. But it wasn't even a word back then it was just fucked up. That's pretty fucked up.
Jennifer Tracy: It's like, you're laughing, so it's making it okay-
Andrea Abbott: It's just all fodder for the mill.
Jennifer Tracy: Now did you know your dad before he died?
Andrea Abbott: Intimately. Intimately.
Jennifer Tracy: Oh, oh, okay. How old were you when he passed away?
Andrea Abbott: I was 22 or three. It was a befitting ending to his life because he was kind of like, I want to run and go get a picture, but I can't because I'm tied up to this thing, but anyway, he's kind of look like the Marlboro man. And he smoked Marlboro's and he used to hold them in a circle with his hand and squint.
Jennifer Tracy: Wow, so he was like Clint Eastwood-
Andrea Abbott: Very Clint Eastwood-y.
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah.
Andrea Abbott: In fact, I used to say, like in that movie Dirty Harry, very like that.
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah.
Andrea Abbott: When you saw my dad you did ask yourself, do I feel lucky. And you did not. And you would say no I don't. I don't. You feel lucky, punk. But yeah, my dad was kind of mean and kind of incest-y but he also ...
Jennifer Tracy: Oh my God. Okay.
Andrea Abbott: Yeah, as I say, at least he was cute. I don't know, I try to look at the positives and the positives were that I left early, and I was fortunate that my dad made good money in farming and melons and so forth, so I could go away to college. I drove away. In my Camaro. But, yeah, so my dad was like that and my mom was very suicidal. Back in the day, in fact, you know I just looked at an interesting graph of suicide. Since 1950, do you know our statistics of suicide are lower now than in 1950.
Jennifer Tracy: Wow.
Andrea Abbott: Are lower. Now I'm not talking about a lot. It's not like oh my God they're plummeting, but they're much lower. They have been on the rise for the last four years, or five years, but they're not even up to 1950. Isn't that so bizarre.
Jennifer Tracy: Wow, that's so interesting. I wonder if it's gender specific. [crosstalk 00:13:20].
Andrea Abbott: I want to tell you. Who do you think would commit suicide-
Jennifer Tracy: Women.
Andrea Abbott: So not.
Jennifer Tracy: Men?
Andrea Abbott: Men are so much higher, women are-
Jennifer Tracy: In the 50s or now? Or both?
Andrea Abbott: At all time. Men are four times higher. Can you imagine, it's everything I never thought. But when I was little, because I was thinking, huh, my neighbor killed herself, I don't really know why, but we weren't allowed to play with her kids after that. I shouldn't laugh. Anyway, my childhood friend's dad hung himself. We were at a dinner party once in San Francisco, I went as my mother's date because my dad really wasn't into her too much, and he also was sleeping around.
Andrea Abbott: Not just with me, but with other real ladies. But, so I went with my mom to this very fancy dinner party, with very wealthy people at Nob Hill, which is like this, anyway, but very nice area in San Francisco, and so it was just a party of 10 or 12 people, and I had super embarrassed my mother by trying to drink out of the finger bowl because I didn't ever have a finger bowl before, and so my mom bammed me under the table, "what are you doing?"
Andrea Abbott: This cute Senator that was next to me said, "Oh, it's okay" he was making me feel good. Anyway, then later on, the party we walked upstairs to go to the bathroom, powder our noses as my mother would say, and so we accidentally ended up in the master bedroom's bathroom, and all I remember is this beautiful huge, fat, gorgeous Siamese Persian cat, and I was in the bathroom, my mom was putting on her makeup, I'm waiting for her, and then we hear someone come in the master bedroom. She took out a gun and shot herself.
Jennifer Tracy: Oh my God. Oh my God, I wasn't expecting that.
Andrea Abbott: Well, we're on the subject of suicide.
Jennifer Tracy: I know, I know, I just for some reason-
Andrea Abbott: You thought, where's this going?
Jennifer Tracy: Oh my God, what did you do?
Andrea Abbott: I don't remember what we did. I just remember that we did go out of that room. I remember my mom telling the story many times later thinking, not luckily, anyway, there was a whole big messy thing, but she was happy that it overshadowed my faux pas of eating out of the finger bowl.
Jennifer Tracy: Thank God for that.
Andrea Abbott: What a blessing in disguise. So, what I just thinking, just in my short little life, this is by the time I was like 10, that's one, two, three adults, and isn't that interesting. Back to whatever.
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah, well no, yeah. Just to add and I've ... One of my best friends in the world just killed herself in October.
Andrea Abbott: Oh my God, just this October?
Jennifer Tracy: Yes.
Andrea Abbott: And did you see that coming?
Jennifer Tracy: Unfortunately, yes. She had been struggling with bipolar, she had gone off her meds, because she wanted to get pregnant, it's a long story. I didn't see it coming in terms of I didn't know that it was on the table and she kept from all of us that she was having any suicidal thoughts.
Andrea Abbott: Wow, wow.
Jennifer Tracy: But it is, just to kind of speak to what you're saying, the statistic that it is-
Andrea Abbott: More men, isn't that bizarre?
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah, it's just everywhere. The Kate Spade happening, and then Anthony Bourdain, and then recently there was a comedian that hung himself in the same way.
Andrea Abbott: Yeah, Robin-
Jennifer Tracy: Yes, what was his name? I forget his name. No not Robin Williams.
Andrea Abbott: Oh another one?
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah, another one, very recently, like a week ago.
Andrea Abbott: Oh my goodness.
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah, so anyway. It is-
Andrea Abbott: Comedians are not long lived. I'm a comedian. But I'm breaking the whole tradition. But yeah, a comedian I used to have a crush on shot himself. Got to get in there quick.
Jennifer Tracy: So, you got out of this house.
Andrea Abbott: This situation, this house. This purple house with white rock roof. Yes.
Jennifer Tracy: That's a vision.
Andrea Abbott: That's a vision, with yellow flowers all around. My mom was, yeah, very into those two colors and insisted that at her funeral people wear ... She planned her funeral for years and years and years, years, she had guest lists-
Jennifer Tracy: How did she die?
Andrea Abbott: Well, alcoholism, but she had attempted suicide many times. Yeah, but anyway, finally she died the old fashion way. Just alcoholism. So, but yeah, she was very into her funeral, it was like a wedding. My mother loved big events. The weddings, and it was like her, as she would say, it's my next big thing. I had an outfit I wore, that matched a big, large, huge framed portrait of her that was on the alter and we wore matching dresses at the funeral.
Jennifer Tracy: I hope that you've written this movie, in some fashion.
Andrea Abbott: I have not written this movie-
Jennifer Tracy: Or something.
Andrea Abbott: ... but yes.
Jennifer Tracy: It's coming.
Andrea Abbott: It's coming, yeah. So, you remember Dark Shadows, you probably don't remember that. It was a and old old show, but anyway, back in Dark Shadows, it was kind of a vampire TV show back in the day, but everyone had these large portraits above the fireplace, maybe the eyes would move. That's the picture of my mom.
Jennifer Tracy: Got it.
Andrea Abbott: And then when I was giving her sermon and looking out, or eulogy, it's a very weird thing to, I spoke at both my parents' funerals, I'm like the speaker of my house.
Jennifer Tracy: Are you the oldest?
Andrea Abbott: Yes. And I'm the most ... and I wasn't in prison so that was also-
Jennifer Tracy: Were your siblings in prison?
Andrea Abbott: Yeah, I don't think my brother, yeah, my brother was at the time, and other people, anyway. It's difficult to speak at a funeral of someone, it's the time to say all the good things, even if you don't feel that way, and there's not just rolling off your tongue all the good things.
Andrea Abbott: But I remember when I was giving my mom's eulogy I was looking out in the church and a sea of yellow ties, and I saw everyone of these guys had an intimate connection to my mom in some way, because they knew what to wear. That's not a color a guy puts on, a yellow tie.
Jennifer Tracy: Right.
Andrea Abbott: Lot of handsome men with yellow ties at my mom's funeral. I got you, I know where you're coming from. I see your yellow tie. Tie a yellow ribbon, I see you.
Jennifer Tracy: Oh my gosh.
Andrea Abbott: So, yes.
Jennifer Tracy: What was your mom's name?
Andrea Abbott: Dottie.
Jennifer Tracy: Of course, it was. What else could it be?
Andrea Abbott: No. After the funeral we went to the bar next door that my mom owned, which is why we went to that church. They played Hello Dolly as the guy always did when she went into that bar, and sang Hello Dottie, she had open bar. So, yeah. It was kind of a befitting way to go off.
Jennifer Tracy: So, how old are you when your mom died?
Andrea Abbott: Oh, I was really old.
Jennifer Tracy: So, this wasn't, so let's go back to UCLA. So, you're at UCLA.
Andrea Abbott: Yes, taking drugs.
Jennifer Tracy: Taking drugs. Studying.
Andrea Abbott: Economics, which I didn't want to study, but I had gotten a drama scholarship for one year, and then my mom was like, "Tut how are you going to pay for the other years" and I was like, "What do you mean?" She goes, "I'm not paying for you to go." So, you can learn economics ... So, I did that, which it was fine, it was just not my interest. Was a lot boys in my class though.
Jennifer Tracy: Oh.
Andrea Abbott: But anyway, you know what, when I went to college, first of all, this is why I love Bernie Sanders, just give, it was practically free. It was $300 a year to go to, $300 a semester to go to UCLA.
Jennifer Tracy: Are you serious?
Andrea Abbott: Yes. It was hard to get in but not as hard as now. It was $300 a quarter, I guess. That's nothing. I still know my goal was not to go to college but just to go.
Jennifer Tracy: Yes.
Andrea Abbott: I would already achieve my goal by the time I got on the 405. Done. Check. I'm out.
Jennifer Tracy: Yes.
Andrea Abbott: I really pushed through to get to college early because I thought, "I'm going to leave out the back door as kind of a run away", or I can pour on the steam and get out of here at 16 and then end this horror story and go early. So, I did that. So, I wasn't that into college. Claudia had always wanted to go to college, I was like, I just said I got out, which was great. I love school, it's fun the study, but it wasn't like I had a degree in mind-
Jennifer Tracy: So did you stay?
Andrea Abbott: I stayed for a while, but as I said, if I hadn't stopped my use of whatever, illegal things, I probably, for sure, would be dead. For 100% sure, I would not have gotten out of my 20s.
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah.
Andrea Abbott: And those are far behind me, so I'm really glad that I did.
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah. So you stopped your use of things. And then what happened?
Andrea Abbott: I got pregnant. Not planned.
Jennifer Tracy: Right.
Andrea Abbott: Because here's the interesting story, I had been so skinny and so underweight. I'm almost five seven and a half, and I'm like 125, but I was 84 pounds.
Jennifer Tracy: Oh my gosh.
Andrea Abbott: You have to, right. And I'm thin now. I mean, I'm not thin-
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah, you are.
Andrea Abbott: Like, okay, thank you.
Jennifer Tracy: You're slender.
Andrea Abbott: I'm slender. But I was Diana Ross skinny, like oh my God. You know who had just died ...
Jennifer Tracy: Karen Carpenter.
Andrea Abbott: Yes, from anorexia. Now that wasn't even a term then, nobody said, oh anorexia, but-
Jennifer Tracy: They said heart attack.
Andrea Abbott: Yes. They said heart attack, yeah. So, I had been hospitalized many times for that and anyway, this is probably not what you're doing on this podcast-
Jennifer Tracy: Oh, we do it all. We do all of it.
Andrea Abbott: I hadn't had a period for seven years.
Jennifer Tracy: Of course, you're body shuts down.
Andrea Abbott: So, tiny.
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah.
Andrea Abbott: Still many boyfriends.
Jennifer Tracy: So you thought, oh I can't get pregnant.
Andrea Abbott: No, there's no way. I mean, pity the poor child that would [inaudible 00:24:04] at me because with the amount of speed I was doing and alcohol, wasn't really an alcoholic, I just had to drink a lot to come down from the speed. But anyway, I definitely was speed and coked out. So yeah, I never had a period to miss. So then I was walking along Hollywood Boulevard, waiting for my drug dealer, who was supposed to meet me on this corner. Now this is before cell phones. This is when you were riding horses, no.
Andrea Abbott: No pagers, no cell phones, no pagers. So, back in those days when you were a drug addict, and you're trying to score some drugs, you're making a plan with another person, you've got the two most irresponsible people in the world making a plan. I will meet you there, oh yes you will, okay I will be there.
Andrea Abbott: So, I'm there, I have no idea what time it is. I know it's day time, and I'm wearing my full length fox fur coat that I got as a gift, wink, wink, from a boyfriend, wink, wink. No, but I really did, and he really kind of was my boyfriend. Loosely.
Jennifer Tracy: A rose by any other name.
Andrea Abbott: Yes, by any other name. And I had an attack dog. I had an attack Doberman at the time.
Jennifer Tracy: Of course, you did.
Andrea Abbott: From the same guy, that I could barely hold onto, because he weighed more than me and he was very, very peppy. Also, he was hungry a lot because I didn't eat and forgot to feed him. So he was like, "A french fry." Boom, and he would be ... so, I'm just setting the stage.
Andrea Abbott: It's 1979. It's the-
Jennifer Tracy: What was the dog's name?
Andrea Abbott: Connie, her name was Connie.
Jennifer Tracy: Oh, it was a girl.
Andrea Abbott: Yeah, it was a girl. Yeah. Anyway, so I'm standing on the corner, trying to meet bad news, his name was Bad News, but we called him News. He was really cool. I'm looking for his brown Cadillac, which is what he drove, those long Cadillac's and I was like, "Where's News. Where's News?" I'll just wait out here a little bit longer.
Andrea Abbott: So this guy taps me on the shoulders he's like, "Do you want to take a personality test?" And I'm like, "No", I could not say that but I'm thinking, "No I don't care about, I have a personality that's enough." I know it's pretty bad, so I don't need to test it. It's not like a pregnancy test or something that if you fail you got to call somebody. I was just like, "No." He said, "You should." I looked behind at his place where you could go to take this test, and it had a big picture window and a lot of chairs. I go in there and I take the test and I'm looking out for this Cadillac, and every few seconds or minutes, I looked down at a question, I'm kind of answering a question and then I look up, ugh, he's not here.
Andrea Abbott: So it's two hours I'm taking the test. By that time I'm in apathy, I'm just like, News is not going to come and get me, and that means, I knew one other guy to score from, but he was this Persian guy who was very, sex was going to happen if you go to this other guy.
Andrea Abbott: Anyway, so I take the test. Blah, blah, blah, I leave and the guy goes, "Don't you want to get the results?" And I'm like, "No, it's okay, I don't have time." He's like, "You just took two hours to take it." I'm like, "No, it's all right." So, I'm going out to my car, he comes to my car and he says, "You really should see the results, I've just put it through the thing." I couldn't really communicate very well. I couldn't say, no, blah, blah, blah.
Andrea Abbott: So I went in, I look at my test, it's on a graph, I'm like a dead snake laying on the ground. That's what my graph looks like. It's just like, wow. He's asking me all these questions, he says, "Well, it says here that you're depressed." I'm like, "No." And he's like, "It says you can't communicate." I'm like, people told me to shut up a lot because I talk so much. So, I can communicate.
Andrea Abbott: But anyway, to get out of there, I said, "What do you suggest?" And he said, "Take this, we have a communications class, it's like $25." I'm like, "Fine." So I write a bad check, I'm like ha, the test didn't tell you about that did it. And I get in my car to go, and I said, "Yes yes I'm going right now", I got the direction, everything, but I wasn't, I was just going to go get drugs.
Andrea Abbott: So, I'm getting Connie in the car, and I'm about ready to go, and the guy taps on my window. First of all I should say he was really cute, every decision I've ever made, someone's really cute. Shallow, yes. Anyway, he said, "You know since you're going there right now," because I said I was, "I was wondering, I have a meeting there in like 15 minutes, if you could just take me with you." Because my car is in a thing and I was going to ... I was like, "Yeah." And I'm thinking oh my God, I'm going to go the whole other way, but now I have to go here.
Andrea Abbott: So, I made a plan, anyway. I ended up doing the class, and I never did drugs again. I stayed there, I've been doing that for 38 years.
Jennifer Tracy: You have? So, it worked.
Andrea Abbott: The books that I read described my mind, which was out of control. It was like, and I started thinking, it's kind of weird that I can decide if I'm going to run right now, or sit. But I can't decide, so your body's suppose to help you, your mind's supposed to help you. I'm really good at school, I can remember things, I can do economics against my will, I can learn formulas. How am I besieged by thoughts that are so unproductive? That doesn't make sense if you're set up to survive, and you're trying to survive, why do you have this flood of thoughts that are so counterproductive that tell you all your bad things.
Andrea Abbott: If you had a friend like that, you wouldn't be around that friend. You'd be like, you're toxic, and I'm not going to be around you because you put me down all the time. But yet, my mind would say worse than my friends could ever say.
Jennifer Tracy: Sure, sure.
Andrea Abbott: I liked that book, I thought, oh my God this is how I am, anyway. Yes, cut to, I ended up not doing drugs, and that was 38 years ago, but then, because I wasn't doing drugs, and I started eating and all those things that people do do. Sleeping, all these new things. I got pregnant. I was like, what is this, I thought, "Oh my God", now I'm 94 pounds and I got the weirdest figure in the world.
Andrea Abbott: I'm like, I have no boobs, no legs, but a little tummy and it dawned on me, oh my God, I'm pregnant. But that's one of my sons, who grew up to be six four and a half. And he's really good and struggled with drugs himself.
Andrea Abbott: But anyway, I went onto have kids and husbands and blah, blah, chickens, and dogs. I am very fortunate that I didn't even find something because I was not looking. I cannot tell you how much I was not looking. Which is very interesting to me because ... So, now just to cut it to another weird thing, I built this guest house that you can see in the back, and I'm always helping one person or two get off drugs, all the time, just people.
Jennifer Tracy: Really, interesting. Do you meet then through the church?
Andrea Abbott: No, I meet them-
Jennifer Tracy: Is it called a church, I don't know, I'm sorry.
Andrea Abbott: Yeah. But I don't meet them through there, no. I meet them through the fact that as I mentioned, some people in my family have gone to prison. So, I meet them through prison, because people come out and most people go to prison, I'm not talking about murderers or but maybe them too, because they have drug problems. Then you don't show up at your work, and then pretty soon you take something from a car, or whatever you're doing. Or you get caught selling, or you get caught distributing, or you get caught blah, blah.
Andrea Abbott: So, I had a family member who had come out of prison and needed help and then he had a ... So, then I got him good, and then he had a cell mate, and he got good and then-
Jennifer Tracy: That's amazing.
Andrea Abbott: ... rotated like that.
Jennifer Tracy: So you have a little recovery house?
Andrea Abbott: Prisoners in my backyard.
Jennifer Tracy: But wait a minute, I have to ask you more about Scientology. If you don't mind.
Andrea Abbott: Sure, not at all.
Jennifer Tracy: Because I'm fascinated.
Andrea Abbott: I'm so happy that my dog's not barking at you right now.
Jennifer Tracy: I know, I'm allowed to pet this other one, very covertly, on his chest.
Andrea Abbott: Covertly, yeah.
Jennifer Tracy: So, Scientology has a pretty bad rap, as you know, but here you are, this beautiful example of someone who's life it saved.
Andrea Abbott: Yes.
Jennifer Tracy: You are an artist and an actress and a stand up comedian and a writer.
Andrea Abbott: That's what I do for a living is I write.
Jennifer Tracy: I want to go into that a little bit, because where in there did you start pursuing that?
Andrea Abbott: I feel like I hear a ... I feel like he's hitting your microphone.
Jennifer Tracy: He is a little bit. He just wants all of my attention. He's like, no, both hands on me. Forget the other dogs.
Andrea Abbott: This is a dog cast, not a podcast.
Jennifer Tracy: That gives me an idea.
Andrea Abbott: I fairly soon, after I got off all the drugs and stopped hating myself, and other people, I hated other people and myself.
Jennifer Tracy: Equally.
Andrea Abbott: Equally, yeah. Pretty soon after getting involved in Scientology I felt like, oh my God I have a sense of humor. Oh my God I'm kind of funny. Yeah. And I don't ever want to put anybody down because I feel like we're all doing the best we can. That's my thing. We're all doing the best we can. Anyway, but I didn't like the idea if I ever mentioned the thing about my dad to anybody, be like, oh you're a rape survivor and I was like ugh. I really don't like that thing.
Andrea Abbott: So then I started, I'm going to be a rape humorist. I'm going to find the brighter, the lighter side of rape, try to go mind that, because it just appealed to me and so anyway. I was way ahead of my time. Nobody's wanting to hear about that, be like, what, hashtag go away. Hashtag shut up. There was no Me Too movement back then. There was no hashtags.
Andrea Abbott: But, in any event, I just realized that I felt like my life had been funny. Then I decided to go into stand up comedy-
Jennifer Tracy: Was this after your son was born?
Andrea Abbott: Oh, yeah.
Jennifer Tracy: Okay.
Andrea Abbott: Yeah, oh yeah. I'm trying to remember. Yes, it was after my son was born. It was actually after my, it was in the early 80s, mid 80s. Mid 80s and I decided, you know what, why don't I try this, and I did and I used to tell jokes, it was so, they were like [inaudible 00:34:57]. But one night actually, here's what happened. When I got divorced from my second husband, his attorney said, "You should spend a night with those kids or it's not going to come out so good for you."
Andrea Abbott: So, he wanted to take the kids half the time. Which was very nice, he's a very nice person and he's the father of one of them and adopted the others so he should see them. But anyway, to his credit he wanted to see them that much. But on those nights I didn't have them, I was like [inaudible 00:35:25] what am I doing now?
Andrea Abbott: You can study Scientology morning, noon, and night, I didn't have anything else, so I decided, I know what I'll do, I didn't have too much money and I thought, "A movie's only two hours", somehow going to a movie by yourself sounded like loserville. It just seemed like no, this is bad. So, I thought, "I'll go to a comedy club." And for the price of admission, plus two drinks, sometimes they had, it just went til two in the morning. So you could go at eight, which I did. I went to the comedy club, the comedy store, and I would just stay there from eight til two. Eight til two on the nights I did not have my kids.
Jennifer Tracy: So, you were basically studying?
Andrea Abbott: Yeah, but I didn't know it. I was like, I'm going to laugh my way through this. Then I started seeing guys do the same thing, I never even knew people were doing the same jokes. I just thought, "Wow, they're spontaneously combusting humor." Just everything they say is hysterical.
Jennifer Tracy: Meaning, when you said you saw them do the same, like, you saw a comic several times doing the same set?
Andrea Abbott: Yes.
Jennifer Tracy: Copy that.
Andrea Abbott: I was like, here comes this guy again, wonder what he's going to say. Oh, same thing he did last time.
Jennifer Tracy: Right, right.
Andrea Abbott: Oh, this is a memorized thing here. So, one night, a comic did not show and the guy who was introducing at the comedy store, they used to have the next comic introduce the next comic, so he said, some guy in the back, he's going to introduce them, they're not here, and he's like, "Damn it, I got to do more time." And I said, "You can do it." I yelled up from the audience. He said, "You think this is easy?"
Andrea Abbott: I'm like, "No, but I just think ..." He said, "You should come up", he basically, now I see, he was just trying to fill the time. So I told a joke that I had heard, something not an original joke and then that was it. I was like, this is fantastic.
Jennifer Tracy: You were hooked.
Andrea Abbott: I was like, [inaudible 00:37:16] I had them eating out of the palm of my hands with that one joke.
Jennifer Tracy: Yes.
Andrea Abbott: And then I started dating that comic too.
Jennifer Tracy: Which comic?
Andrea Abbott: Oh, I don't know if he wants me to say.
Jennifer Tracy: Oh, it's someone that you married?
Andrea Abbott: No, I never married him. No.
Jennifer Tracy: Got it.
Andrea Abbott: I never married him. Also I've been engaged several times. I could've been my mother, so that's how I got into comedy. Then I-
Jennifer Tracy: You started dating a comedian? Of course. So you're really in the world of it?
Andrea Abbott: I was in the world of it, yes. I was in the world of it. I thought it was so cool and it fit well with my kids because I could get a sitter at night when they went to bed, and then I could go out from nine til one in the morning. Get up at 6:30, get them ready for school, drop them off, and go back to sleep.
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah.
Andrea Abbott: Then write jokes and I was so industrious. I made little graphs, like okay, I'm going to do four shows this week, or wherever, I'd drive all around. It was so fun and I met some wonderful people, and people that I feel like, kindred spirits because they all, I can't say they were all comics, but I would say the 100 that I met and then I was on the road for a long time, all came from dysfunctional families.
Andrea Abbott: Like mine, not a lot of people had sex with their dad, but their mom was this or [inaudible 00:38:35]. My boyfriend's dad dressed up as woman, this was before we even knew things, and would come over every year and celebrate his birthday as a woman and his mother would say, "Oh Aunt So and So's here", and everybody pretended it wasn't dad in drag.
Jennifer Tracy: Wow.
Andrea Abbott: Then they would always, I remember he, I loved his family. They had to move all the time because his dad was a doctor and kept losing his license for malpractice and had to go to another state. They finally had to go to Canada and also his mom made him wear a helmet while he was driving the car. A motorcycle helmet. And I was like, it just made me feel at home. Like, oh-
Jennifer Tracy: You're not the only one that's fucked up. Or from a fucked up family.
Andrea Abbott: Exactly. We were all in this and it was so fun to trade these little stories and that we were all laughing at it. We weren't crying about it, we were cracking up.
Jennifer Tracy: Right. So, I want to go back to the rape, what did you say, you said I wanted to be a rape humorist. So, within that, and I think just to circle back, that is where the healing happens.
Andrea Abbott: Yeah.
Jennifer Tracy: It's exactly what you're talking about.
Andrea Abbott: Yeah.
Jennifer Tracy: That you could be in the space you were at, at that point in your life. Far removed from that experience, or those experiences, and make light of it in that way. And have other people laugh because people laugh when they relate.
Andrea Abbott: Exactly.
Jennifer Tracy: Because they go, oh yeah, that's true.
Andrea Abbott: They laugh because they relate, exactly.
Jennifer Tracy: Did you have people come up to you and say, "Thank you so much for sharing that?" Or what was your experience when started sharing this on the comedy state?
Andrea Abbott: Well, comics are a funny group because the comics I really liked were very dark comics. So, we used to have kind of bets of who could we walk out of the room. Sometimes people would walk out. Sometimes people would gasp. And sometimes people would laugh, and sometimes people would want to hug me, which was not what I was going for, but I realized, I didn't want people to saying, "You're so brave", I didn't like any of that.
Andrea Abbott: But, I feel like they, it was their response, so it's their response. I'll tell you one of my jokes. You know my father was very ... Some dad's like to kiss their kids goodnight, my dad liked to go all the way. He was yeah, so, when he was taking off his belt, you were not getting a spanking, that's really the problem, and it was bad.
Andrea Abbott: It was a harsh growing up, you know the hardest thing about it was, it was that, but also that my mom, it was the combo, incest dad with suicide mom. So, my mom was so suicidal that I could not confide, I was holding, like uh-oh, I don't want my mom to off herself, she's already would wake me up in the middle of the night and ask me to, this is a nightly thing, "Honey, honey, what do you do if you wake up in the morning and you find mommy dead, what do you do?"
Andrea Abbott: "Take our your contacts." "That's right sweetie because they are too painful to wear for eternity and I just couldn't" ... So, that was my job.
Jennifer Tracy: Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God. I am amazed that you survived this.
Andrea Abbott: Well, thank you, thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. But yeah, so it wasn't just the dad thing. It was the fact that if my mom found out-
Jennifer Tracy: And you were the oldest, so it wasn't like you had any older siblings that you could lean on? The rest were little.
Andrea Abbott: No, exactly, the rest were little. On the conveyor belt to dad when they ... yeah. So, anyway, it was a difficult thing. But, back to the humor, is I just feel that it's fun to talk about it, because like anything where there's shame around it, or where it's quiet, the more you talk about it the more you realize, oh my God this person, maybe they didn't get an allowance for blowing their dad, but this person got molested by this person, and this person got molested by this person.
Andrea Abbott: As people are talking about it now, especially, and I feel like it's whatever you feel you should keep to yourself you probably shouldn't. It's just a good motto. Talk about it.
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah.
Andrea Abbott: Whether you're ... That's a thing I learned in Scientology-
Jennifer Tracy: Just so you know there's another fart drifting towards you.
Andrea Abbott: Oh my God I cannot ... I don't know, what did he eat.
Jennifer Tracy: He's just an old puppy. It's okay, it's all right.
Andrea Abbott: You know what, it's good for your skin. I'm just kidding. When you say-
Jennifer Tracy: Oh my God, I just had a flash of us opening up a shop-
Andrea Abbott: For dog farts?
Jennifer Tracy: Selling dog farts to women, in Brentwood-
Andrea Abbott: A fart bar.
Jennifer Tracy: ... next to the goop salon or whatever, where we're doing fart facials today, and Gwenth's going to be here.
Andrea Abbott: It's going to be fantastic. And then we have dogs, we can get dogs from the pound.
Jennifer Tracy: That's right.
Andrea Abbott: And we bring them in-
Jennifer Tracy: Because those are the most healing kind of farts for your skin.
Andrea Abbott: Absolutely.
Jennifer Tracy: They're going to take away that puffiness from your eyes.
Andrea Abbott: Wait til you see yourself.
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah. If you can still see from the fumes.
Andrea Abbott: I'm laughing right now because-
Jennifer Tracy: He's humping me. This is all been foreplay, he just wants to have sex with me. He probably doesn't have his balls anymore does he?
Andrea Abbott: No, he does not. But, this is really embarrassing that one of my dogs is farting and the other ones trying to have sex with you.
Jennifer Tracy: That's okay. I feel right at home. This is just like my house. This is basically just like my house.
Andrea Abbott: Oh my God, it's like, let's get the right lighting going. Bring in my dogs to molest and fart on you. Let's make sure we all look good guys. My husband was working out in the garage this morning, he's a motion control person in film and I said, "Sweetheart, when you leave, could you leave though the chickens, because I don't want the dogs to bark because that's very disruptive." He's like, "Okay."
Andrea Abbott: So, he had to march out through chicken shit so that ... and meanwhile my dogs are just barking and farting and humping on you. Pretty soon an Amazon persons' going to come or something from FedEx-
Jennifer Tracy: They already came. I saw them leave some packages on your front door.
Andrea Abbott: Every day. Look here comes the humper.
Jennifer Tracy: Yup.
Andrea Abbott: He's just like, I got to get in here.
Jennifer Tracy: I am about to start my ... Got to get in here. I got to get in here.
Andrea Abbott: Line up buddy, line up buddy, line up.
Jennifer Tracy: I'm about to start my period, maybe that's what it is.
Andrea Abbott: Oh, he's like, never really seen him do any of this but it's pretty cute.
Jennifer Tracy: Aww, I'm flattered. I'm flattered.
Andrea Abbott: Are you dating anyone?
Jennifer Tracy: Now I am.
Andrea Abbott: Now you are, Mr. Tibbs.
Jennifer Tracy: Mr. Tibbs.
Andrea Abbott: Yeah, you are.
Jennifer Tracy: So, okay so you did stand up for a long time and then did you start writing after that or had you always written?
Andrea Abbott: I used to hide from my dad in my room and as I said, I'm pretty old, but you know, I'm 62 and a half, we do the halves in our house. We're still at the halves. Actually, I'm almost a half. I didn't have a TV in my room or anything like that, so I had a fish aquarium, and I used to make up stories about my fish, having affairs and I would write about them meeting at the seaweed, and because he's having an affair with her and this is very clandestine, and his wife is over here by the treasure chest and she knows nothing.
Andrea Abbott: So, I was doing that. I lost those fish diaries in one of my mom's moves, but I probably would be appalled at them. Might be cute to have them, but I'd rather just maybe my memory, I always say I have a photogenic memory. I don't remember a lot, but it's really good looking what I remember. I think I was fascinating, but I probably wasn't.
Andrea Abbott: But I did write then, and then I did love writing jokes. I still write jokes for lots of people, and I then thought why don't I write a sitcom. And I did. And I sold my very first one, I was so lucky. I sold it to CBS and I was in it. It was called Andrea and there we go. Didn't make the air. Nothing I've written, I've written 22 pilots.
Jennifer Tracy: Wow.
Andrea Abbott: Writing my first drama this year. I just finished a drama for Freeform and I've got another comedy going. Not one, knock, knock, has made the air. No, not one has made the air, many have made pilots but none have gotten on. I've even been announced [inaudible 00:47:32] like, AMC picks up it's first comedy, blah, blah, blah, and then they're like, I've been picked up twice by new networks that then decide not to do comedy.
Andrea Abbott: I'm like, what's the world telling me. But anyway, I'm persistent, so I like writing. I had to stop writing for a few years because of some things that were happening in my family that I had to help out with, but I wrote even then, even though I wasn't being paid to write, I still was writing. So, I love it. I love it. It's fun. It's like a vacation in your mind. You know?
Andrea Abbott: I'm a cheap date. Like my neighbor, she's like oh we're going here, we're going there, I'm like, I'm on a vacation in my mind. I have a dollar cup of coffee.
Jennifer Tracy: Do you have a schedule that you stick to? Are you regimented about your writing schedule?
Andrea Abbott: I just try to get in four plus hours however I do it. I am kind of a workaholic in that this is a fun thing and I love doing this. So I count this as work though, I'm not going to just try to get the writing in. If I have a meeting on a show, which I have a couple, that counts, but if I'm not, I'm getting up and I'm going to that computer, and I'm writing what I'm supposed to write, what I've sold and what I'm in my mind trying to ... Is she crying for you now?
Jennifer Tracy: Oh, this is a girl?
Andrea Abbott: No, he, I just say she. That's the pronoun he likes to go with. No, it's a boy.
Jennifer Tracy: I'm open to all gender, however you identify, my child. No, he's just way into me.
Andrea Abbott: He loves you.
Jennifer Tracy: He's way into me.
Andrea Abbott: He's going to cry when you're gone. He's going to cry. It's a good arm workout to hold him up like that for your arms because he's 10 pounds, he's so happy, he looks so happy. He's like, where's my cigarette.
Andrea Abbott: Did you ever smoke?
Jennifer Tracy: Oh God, yes.
Andrea Abbott: Me too.
Jennifer Tracy: Oh, yeah.
Andrea Abbott: You don't smoke now though?
Jennifer Tracy: No. God no. I tried to smoke right when I got divorced I had a couple cigarettes, I got such a bad headache, thank God, that I was like, oh yeah, this isn't for me. Not it's not anything that I need to do. It's not giving me any kind of relief. I just need to feel like shit for a little bit.
Andrea Abbott: Just need to go through it. And you know what-
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah.
Andrea Abbott: ... smoking's not so much fun without drinking.
Jennifer Tracy: Oh, yeah.
Andrea Abbott: It was a two handed thing. Puff, puff, drink, drink. So, I don't drink anymore, but not because of anything, I just feel like I have seven pretty good brain cells left, I'm just trying to keep them going. Come on you guys, this is it, you and me to the finish line.
Andrea Abbott: So I don't drink. I did have a glass of wine at my wedding. I mean, I probably had like 10 drinks over the years.
Jennifer Tracy: Wow.
Andrea Abbott: It doesn't do anything for me at all. So, the same with cigarettes it's like, oh, without the ... It's just, it was a thing.
Jennifer Tracy: It was a thing.
Andrea Abbott: You know.
Jennifer Tracy: Now it's funny, I walk by a cigarette and I go, God I can't believe it-
Andrea Abbott: It smells horrible.
Jennifer Tracy: It's really gross and it's just ... Well, and talk about for your skin, it's bad for your skin.
Andrea Abbott: It is bad ... Look how cute we look for what we did.
Jennifer Tracy: That is so true.
Andrea Abbott: My God.
Jennifer Tracy: It's all the dog farts. They saved our skin. Those dog fart facials.
Andrea Abbott: Yes. Exactly. I used to lay out in the sun. I used to smoke my ass off. I did a shit loads of speed. I fucked everybody I saw.
Jennifer Tracy: You lived a full life.
Andrea Abbott: You're so cute. [crosstalk 00:51:18] You lived a full life, yes, that's what it is. You weren't a drug addicted whore, you lived a full life.
Jennifer Tracy: Oh my God. Andrea, we have come to the time-
Andrea Abbott: Uh-oh.
Jennifer Tracy: Oh my gosh, yeah, where I ask every guest the same three questions, and then we go into a lightning round of questions.
Andrea Abbott: Okay.
Jennifer Tracy: So, I have this very tattered list.
Andrea Abbott: Are any of them math questions because I'm not great at math.
Jennifer Tracy: All of them. They're all algebra, trigonometry-
Andrea Abbott: Okay good, let's go.
Jennifer Tracy: I'm going to have you do some theorems on the board over here.
Andrea Abbott: I haven't even said that word, theorems. That sounds like something you take for a cold. I need some theorems. Let's go get that, okay, yes.
Jennifer Tracy: All right. What do you think about, Andrea, when you ... he's just licking my pant leg. I don't mind it, I'm just, I'm saying this-
Andrea Abbott: He loves you.
Jennifer Tracy: ... for two reasons, in case the listeners hear this, it's not me and my tongue, it's the dog.
Andrea Abbott: Yeah. I can't hear it.
Jennifer Tracy: Who wants to make sweet, sweet love to me all night long.
Andrea Abbott: Okay.
Jennifer Tracy: What do you think about Andrea, when you hear the word MILF?
Andrea Abbott: You know, I think about not being allowed to go to my son's baseball games, my middle son, because he thought it was distracting. I think wow. I felt so bad, but he, no you can't go. When he was in high school. So apparently I was pretty ... I always dressed inappropriately, I think, but anyway, I feel like I should have put on an apron more than a mini skirt.
Jennifer Tracy: So you were banned from the baseball games?
Andrea Abbott: My son didn't want me to go.
Jennifer Tracy: That's what I mean. Yeah, from your son.
Andrea Abbott: [crosstalk 00:53:05] My ex-husband was also one of the assistant coaches but it wasn't that, he told me later, "Mom, guys would make comments I didn't want to hear." I was like, people think it's a compliment, I guess, but I feel like it could also be, you could take toll and go, hmm, could I change anything? Anyway, whatever, I don't know. It's good you want to fuck me, I don't know, whatever. I don't know.
Jennifer Tracy: What's something you've changed your mind about recently?
Andrea Abbott: Recently? Getting another dog. I'm definitely not going to get another dog. Or do a podcast in my home. But what is something I've changed my mind about recently. Gosh, those are a little bit hard, have you changed your mind about something recently?
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah, I think I'm going to pierce my ears.
Andrea Abbott: Oh good. You would look great with pierced ears.
Jennifer Tracy: Thank you.
Andrea Abbott: You never pierced your ears?
Jennifer Tracy: Well, it's interesting. I pierced them when I was a teenager, and then somewhere in my late 20s they just closed up because they kept getting infected, and I just let them close up. So, I never thought about it and then I cut my hair really short and shaved the sides.
Andrea Abbott: Which is really cute, it's like a new Annie Lennox, you really pull it off and it sets off those head phones.
Jennifer Tracy: Thank you. Yes.
Andrea Abbott: It's cute.
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah, so I've been a little afraid to do it only because, I don't know, just because I'm worried that they're going to get infected again. But I'm going to go to a place that knows what they're doing. So, yeah, so I'm going to get my ears pierced, but I'm going to do a bunch on each side. Like, cool.
Andrea Abbott: Well, you know, I'd think you'd look great. I'm going to say this, I'm kind of changing my mind on vaping, not for myself, but my son who's 15 is all about it, cannot stop, "Mom, I sent you a link about vaping, Mom when I'm 16 can I vape? Mom, blah, blah, blah, vaping, vaping, vaping." But, I have heard some people talk about it and I think maybe it is a good thing, maybe it is helping people quit smoking and maybe I need to just go with the flow and be into vaping. Just like, hey, it's fine if you vape. He doesn't want to vape nicotine, but I'm just going to try to be pro vaping.
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah, okay.
Andrea Abbott: I'm just going to not be so anti-vape. That's what it is. I'm not going to be anti-vape. Okay.
Jennifer Tracy: Awesome.
Andrea Abbott: Yes.
Jennifer Tracy: All right. How do you define success?
Andrea Abbott: Oh, well gosh, I feel like if you compare yourself to others you can make yourself feel bad. You know what I mean? Like, oh well that persons doing this, and da, da, da, da, da. So I just say for my own self, if I'm happy when I wake up, if I'm kind of have a game plan, I'm going to do this and this today, I feel, and of course if my kids are doing good. That's a big thing. I just feel good if I'm kind of excited about my adventure however big or small compared to others it is. If I'm excited about it, I feel like that's successful.
Jennifer Tracy: I love that answer. Okay. Lightning round of questions.
Andrea Abbott: Okay.
Jennifer Tracy: Ocean or dessert?
Andrea Abbott: Forest.
Jennifer Tracy: I love you. Favorite junk food?
Andrea Abbott: Heath Bars.
Jennifer Tracy: Mmm.
Andrea Abbott: Remember those?
Jennifer Tracy: Oh, yeah.
Andrea Abbott: God, I just started seeing them again at CVS, only 210 calories for a Heath Bar, I'm all over it, I'm like phew. Love them.
Jennifer Tracy: Yum. Movies or Broadway show?
Andrea Abbott: Broadway show.
Jennifer Tracy: Day time sex or night time sex?
Andrea Abbott: Paid sex, no. That was my favorite. I'm not day time person. Are you, what do you say?
Jennifer Tracy: Anytime that it's-
Andrea Abbott: Wow, anytime.
Jennifer Tracy: [crosstalk 00:56:49] I just had sex, right here, during the podcast.
Andrea Abbott: Anytime sex.
Jennifer Tracy: Not that I'm up for it anytime, but anytime that you and your partner are both up for it at the same time-
Andrea Abbott: Yes.
Jennifer Tracy: ... go for it. And that there's space and the children aren't there.
Andrea Abbott: Yes.
Jennifer Tracy: Do it. Turn the lights down, pull the curtains if you need to, whatever. Because after kids, man, it's like ...
Andrea Abbott: I have kids. So, I like night time because you can make it cool. We've got some cool things we do. My husband's English.
Jennifer Tracy: Aww.
Andrea Abbott: Yeah.
Jennifer Tracy: Where am I? Texting or talking?
Andrea Abbott: Depends who it is but I'm really kind of getting into texting but it's so obvious I like taking, and I feel so bad that I'm not asking about you, but I don't think that's the format, but everytime you ask me a question I'm like, well, what about you, why is this the Andrea show? But anyway, I like talking.
Jennifer Tracy: Cat person or dog person?
Andrea Abbott: Dog person. And chicken person.
Jennifer Tracy: Yes. Have you ever worn a unitard?
Andrea Abbott: Yes. I used to wear one on most dates in high school, first of all Dickies were a thing, and I don't remember what those things, where you could snap them under your vagina. You have like three snaps there.
Jennifer Tracy: Oh yeah, like a body suit.
Andrea Abbott: Yes. Because I was so, coming from my dad, I thought everybody was going to be trying to have sex, so I put on so many clothes.
Jennifer Tracy: Of course.
Andrea Abbott: I was like, unitard, Dickie, whatever that thing was, vest, jacket, gloves, cape, I'm ready.
Jennifer Tracy: Let's go, let's go to the movies.
Andrea Abbott: And still I was slutty. I was slutty but I had a lot of clothes, too.
Jennifer Tracy: Yes. They had to work hard.
Andrea Abbott: They did.
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah.
Andrea Abbott: They did.
Jennifer Tracy: They had to be committed. Like I am today in the dog farts and the humping.
Andrea Abbott: You are. [crosstalk 00:58:34].
Jennifer Tracy: But you're worth it.
Andrea Abbott: Aww, you're so sweet.
Jennifer Tracy: You're so worth it. Shower or bath tub?
Andrea Abbott: Bath tub. I hate showers. Love bathtubs.
Jennifer Tracy: Ice cream or chocolate?
Andrea Abbott: Ice cream. I eat three ice creams every night. That Yasso mint chip 100 calories, so good, and I can eat three, 300 calories, that's all it is for three.
Jennifer Tracy: Yum.
Andrea Abbott: So, good. Ice cream, ice cream.
Jennifer Tracy: On a scale of one to 10, how good are you at ping pong?
Andrea Abbott: Well, this is so terrible to say, boy ping pong or girl ping pong, but my brothers slam it so hard that it's hard, but if it's with a person who's just playing, I'll give myself a six.
Jennifer Tracy: Okay.
Andrea Abbott: Yeah.
Jennifer Tracy: What's your biggest pet peeve?
Andrea Abbott: When my dog farts on you. I don't have a lot of pet peeves. I'm fairly tolerant. I don't know. I feel like you have to ask somebody else what ... I know what it is. I've thought of it. I think I have a little bit of misophonia.
Jennifer Tracy: What's that?
Andrea Abbott: It's something I've learned on podcast. It's when certain sounds bother you.
Jennifer Tracy: Oh.
Andrea Abbott: Yeah, if I'm not eating, and someone's standing behind me eating a bowl of cereal or something, which is often the case, I don't like that sound. I either talk loudly to, or say could you eat in another room. But I don't care for people eating when I'm not.
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah, interesting.
Andrea Abbott: Isn't that interesting?
Jennifer Tracy: I can understand that, that makes sense.
Andrea Abbott: That's a thing.
Jennifer Tracy: If you could push a button and have perfect skin for the rest of your life, but it would also give you incurable halitosis for the rest of your life, would you push it?
Andrea Abbott: No, no. I would push a button if I could have ... I love that question, because like you said, I'm going to ask you a question, what would you like to take out of the world. You could take one thing out of the world.
Jennifer Tracy: Oh God. One thing?
Andrea Abbott: You have a magic wand and that would go away. Don't say me.
Jennifer Tracy: Homelessness.
Andrea Abbott: Good one. Homelessness. So you should make a lip stick homelessness question or a good skin homelessness question, but mine would be violence. I would love to take violence out of the world. Imagine if there was no violence how wonderful that would be. Or drugs. I don't know, because drugs is pretty bad too. Especially all the people with opiate, but anyway. I would give up all sorts of things for either of those.
Jennifer Tracy: I should clarify, what I mean by that is that, so that no one would ever have to be homeless.
Andrea Abbott: Yes, they would all have a home.
Jennifer Tracy: They would all have a home, they would all have a safe and a clean place to lay their head at night and to shower and to eat and they would have-
Andrea Abbott: That's wonderful.
Jennifer Tracy: For me that it would be. I feel like, can't we do that? I don't know, I sound such naïve and I don't want to ... Like, I always say, I'm super blessed, privileged, white woman, middle class, I get it. It just kills me when we're driving around L.A. and seeing all the tents, and on a day like today, it's pouring rain and I drove by an underpass after I put my son on his school bus, filled with tents and I just think my God, those people ... It's freezing cold, they're going to be soaking wet. They're going to get sick. I don't know.
Andrea Abbott: No, I know, it is bad, and that would be wonderful to get rid of homeless. But, not to get rid of them but to make sure they have homes.
Jennifer Tracy: To end homelessness.
Andrea Abbott: To end homelessness. I have this cool idea for a reality show that I'm going to hopefully take around, but because that's one of the reasons I always have one to three people living in my guest house. It was a garage, we changed it to a condo, we call it the [gondo 01:02:20].
Andrea Abbott: But I was thinking, wonder if I could take on 10 people. Homeless drug addicts, they have to be a drug addict, and have a house that I'm rebuilding and it's called Total Rehab, and we're rehabbing the house-
Jennifer Tracy: Oh my God, I love it.
Andrea Abbott: ... and we're rehabbing the people.
Jennifer Tracy: I love it.
Andrea Abbott: Whoever could make it through to the end of the house could divvy up the proceeds and start their life. Wouldn't that be great.
Jennifer Tracy: I love this idea.
Andrea Abbott: Okay, let's do it.
Jennifer Tracy: Yes. Are you going to pitch it?
Andrea Abbott: I am going to pitch it. I've got these other things on my plate, but I think it would be so fun. I'd have to be doing it, because I'm the one with the experience but, Total Rehab.
Jennifer Tracy: Oh yeah. It'd be you co-hosting it with some kind of contractor person.
Andrea Abbott: Oh a contractor that's come through. I have a contractor that I had here ... I would take only my guys.
Jennifer Tracy: That's incredible.
Andrea Abbott: Prison records, track marks, let's go.
Jennifer Tracy: Yes.
Andrea Abbott: Lets go, we're doing this.
Jennifer Tracy: I love that.
Andrea Abbott: Yeah.
Jennifer Tracy: I can't imagine that wouldn't sell in a heart beat.
Andrea Abbott: Yeah, I'm hoping so.
Jennifer Tracy: To one of the networks.
Andrea Abbott: Yes, well I have to pitch it. But anyway, but yes, and now that I've told everyone. But anyway, don't tell anyone you guys.
Jennifer Tracy: No ones going to do it the way, nobody possibly could.
Andrea Abbott: [inaudible 01:03:36]
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah. They wouldn't want to try that's true.
Jennifer Tracy: Super power choice, invisibility, ability to fly, or super strength?
Andrea Abbott: I would take super strength and I would have it be super strength of compassion.
Jennifer Tracy: Aww.
Andrea Abbott: Yeah, if you could have an endless well of compassion-
Jennifer Tracy: But you kind of already have that.
Andrea Abbott: Thank you but, wouldn't it be wonderful-
Jennifer Tracy: Don't you? I feel like you really do.
Andrea Abbott: Thank you. I have some of it, that's why I want more of it. I have some. You should see with my kids, Andrew, where is ... I have that voice.
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah.
Andrea Abbott: You just left, is your bed made? No, it's not, okay good, Shawn ... Honey ... I'm also that person.
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah, well you have to be. Yeah. That's called boss lady.
Andrea Abbott: Boss lady, there you go. Romeo stop farting. Tibby get in here. Get some chicken feed while you're on your way out. It's romantic living with me. I would love to have that. I feel like people's mental attitudes and their feelings are contagious, and whether it is that you're an angry person and you're honking your horn at somebody and then somebody else is going to go on with that. Or if you show somebody a lot of kindness and then they go wow, I feel good about myself and they go on.
Andrea Abbott: If I had a super power compassion, then I would feel like I could blow it out and give it to people that need it. I would just go like this. Like Spiderman.
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah.
Andrea Abbott: They'd be like, oh my God, I love you Mom. Everybody would be making up. It'd be national hug day.
Jennifer Tracy: I love it.
Andrea Abbott: I love you. You're such a nice person.
Jennifer Tracy: You are too.
Andrea Abbott: You really are. You're such a sweet person and I'm glad you're doing this podcast. You're getting to give a lot of people some voices, that are women, that are mothers, that are coming together to support each other in every way they can.
Jennifer Tracy: Yes. I feel like when women support each other, magic happens. I've seen it with my own eyes so many times. I'm getting emotional.
Andrea Abbott: Do you cry easily?
Jennifer Tracy: I don't but the last ... I'm getting on my period, that was part of what it is. But I had a podcast interview the other day, and guest was talking about her two year old son playing the piano with her mom, his grandma, and I started crying. That's so beautiful.
Jennifer Tracy: But anyway, when women support each other, we can all rise together, and I think that's whats so powerful about the movement right now, if you want to call it a movement.
Andrea Abbott: Yeah.
Jennifer Tracy: I think it's really only positive elevation can come when we support other women and that whole mean girls thing, that still goes on I'm sure, and the comparing, and the competitiveness. It doesn't work and it only suffocates people and takes away their use of their voice. I really believe that every single voice is valid.
Andrea Abbott: Yes.
Jennifer Tracy: I love doing the podcast and I love, I'm so grateful I got the come meet you.
Andrea Abbott: It's kind of like an orchestra. You have all the different voices and you need the trombones and-
Jennifer Tracy: You need all of it.
Andrea Abbott: ... the violin can't be just sitting there, I'm not as loud as the trombone, they have to be like, I'm a violin mother fucker.
Jennifer Tracy: Yes. That's right, girl. You so get me. Okay, now here's the weird question.
Andrea Abbott: Okay.
Jennifer Tracy: I've lost a few people on me, I'm going to keep it in the show.
Andrea Abbott: Get out of my house. Go immediately.
Jennifer Tracy: Would you rather have a penis where your tailbone is or a third eye?
Andrea Abbott: Is this where your tail, so I'm sitting on a penis all day wouldn't that be uncomfortable?
Jennifer Tracy: Well, it's kind of-
Andrea Abbott: I could tuck it back up?
Jennifer Tracy: You could tuck it up, but it's also above where you're sitting actually.
Andrea Abbott: I see. Well, and where's your third eye? On your tailbone. Okay, it would be on your forehead. Everything has tobe on your tailbone. Did you get it.
Jennifer Tracy: Sorry, I'm in a third eye, where your third eye would be, in between your eyebrows an actual third eye.
Andrea Abbott: Does anybody say the penis on their tailbone?
Jennifer Tracy: Oh, yeah.
Andrea Abbott: Wow.
Jennifer Tracy: A lot of people.
Andrea Abbott: If it wasn't there it'd be interesting. But no, I'd rather have a third eye. I have one contact in and one no contact because I have monovision. So, I could have tri vision. Yeah, no I'd like that, plus I have bangs. I could, people wouldn't know, [inaudible 01:08:14].
Jennifer Tracy: She parted her bangs in the center like a curtain.
Andrea Abbott: Hair is such a curtain. Do you miss your curtain?
Jennifer Tracy: No, it's been interesting. I felt very exposed when I first got this hair cut.
Andrea Abbott: Yeah.
Jennifer Tracy: And now I feel, what's the word I'm looking for, it's not lighter, I just feel very comfortable being naked and having a naked neck and having a naked side, my ears aren't covered. I will say, in this cold, I'm air quoting, this cold L.A. winter, it's been cold. I've needed a hat and I'm like, "Oh my God my little head is naked."
Andrea Abbott: Oh yeah, your ears are getting cold.
Jennifer Tracy: My ears, but no it feels so freeing to not have that cover, and that's part of my whole gig is exposing myself-
Andrea Abbott: Yes.
Jennifer Tracy: ... not in a flashing kind of nudity way. Being vulnerable and speaking my truth and that kind of thing.
Andrea Abbott: Yes, yes. Well that's, it looks so cute on you, but this is what I like about this is the fact is, let's say a guy's starting at you, which I'm sure happens, then the curtain drops, I don't see you anymore.
Jennifer Tracy: Right.
Andrea Abbott: I blocked you out. I love that curtain. At the movies and stuff there's like, boom, you're gone. My hair is my superpower. Boom, you're gone, you're invisible. How do you like it?
Jennifer Tracy: Oh my God.
Andrea Abbott: Anyway yes, I'm going with-
Jennifer Tracy: Precious.
Andrea Abbott: Aww, thank you.
Jennifer Tracy: Penis. You're going with penis.
Andrea Abbott: Third eye, third eye.
Jennifer Tracy: Oh third eye, that's right.
Andrea Abbott: Yeah, yeah, yeah
Jennifer Tracy: That's right.
Andrea Abbott: Yeah, I live with all boys.
Jennifer Tracy: Plenty of penises.
Andrea Abbott: Plenty of penises.
Jennifer Tracy: What was the name of your first pet?
Andrea Abbott: I know where this is leading. I know what you're trying to do. My first pet, I should've thought about this when I had my first pet, but I didn't think of my porn name, his name was Rusty. Already that's not good.
Jennifer Tracy: Why is it not good? I think that's great.
Andrea Abbott: Ask me then where my-
Jennifer Tracy: Okay, what was the name of the street you grew up on?
Andrea Abbott: Pontiac. Rusty Pontiac is not a good strip name. That sounds horrible, that person needs to go in another line of work. That person is not going to get any tips no matter how-
Jennifer Tracy: That's so good though.
Andrea Abbott: Want to go see Rusty Pontiac, no, no. It sounds like you could cut yourself and then have to get a tetanus shot. Is that our end?
Jennifer Tracy: That's a rap, my love.
Andrea Abbott: Well, do I win worse stripper name?
Jennifer Tracy: You might.
Andrea Abbott: Rusty Pontiac.
Jennifer Tracy: You might, you might.
Andrea Abbott: They're not going to put that on the marquee.
Jennifer Tracy: It's so good, that I don't know if you win worst, I think it's ... yeah [crosstalk 01:11:05].
Andrea Abbott: It's memorable.
Jennifer Tracy: It's memorable.
Andrea Abbott: It's memorable, okay good.
Jennifer Tracy: But if we're building a character I think she would be the least likely to succeed, how about that.
Andrea Abbott: Okay, good. And so she has to try extra hard, then she wins everybody over with her compassion of superpower-
Jennifer Tracy: Yeah, that's right, see.
Andrea Abbott: ... and they're like, Rusty's not anything to look at, I'll give her that, but boy do I feel good when I come see her.
Jennifer Tracy: I feel so amazing and she makes a damn mean chicken soup.
Andrea Abbott: Thank you so much for having me, this was really fun.
Jennifer Tracy: Thank you, Andrea.
Andrea Abbott: Okay, bye.
Jennifer Tracy: Hey, guys, thanks so much for listening. I hope you enjoyed my conversation with Andrea, isn't she a hoot. She is hilarious. Next week on the show we have Alexis [Arton 01:11:46], Alexis is a powerhouse, I just love her so much and I'm really excited to share that episode with you guys next week. In the meantime, if you enjoy today's episode, which I hope you did, please share it with somebody. Just text it over to a friend, because the more that we can spread MILF podcast and my episodes, the more I can keep doing it. I'm just so grateful to each and every one of you, I hope you guys have a wonderful day, do something nice for yourself today. All right, love you guys.